


Clocks

by SmileAndWave (Tammy_grateful)



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, But only a little, Canon Compliant, Drinking to Cope, Nicole milks a skunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammy_grateful/pseuds/SmileAndWave
Summary: 18 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days. WHAT HAPPENED TO NICOLE?Sooooo many questions! How did Nicole and Rachel get away? Did Rachel come willingly? Did Jeremy even try to call? How long was Nicole on crutches? How many times did she walk to the stairs? When did she give up hope? How did she learn how to milk a skunk? How did Holt and Cleo oust her as sheriff? Where is CJ? And what is up with all that Kombucha?
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 54
Kudos: 119





	1. The closing walls and the ticking clocks, gonna come back and take you home

**Author's Note:**

> You know exactly when this fic starts and when it ends. I watched the twitter timeline give theories, so I may have inadvertently used some of them. I really did try to stay original. Oh, all mistakes are mine because I didn't ask anyone to proofread it. I will NOT take offense to grammatical corrections! (just be nice about it, thanks!)
> 
> Last thing, yes, the title and chapters are Coldplay's. Yes, the characters belong to Wynonna Earp and not me.

“Get down!” The redhead lowered her head, and the dark haired teen moved her body in an effort to cover the other girls head and chest. A blast sounded throughout the small lab space, glass breaking, shelving collapsing, bodies falling. Both girls’ ears started ringing. Some debris rained down on them.

Nicole Haught had tossed their last beaver blaster over her shoulder towards the lab door, the only way in or out of the room. She couldn’t move, her leg broken in three places. 

Rachel Valdez, the brunette she had knocked out mere hours ago was worried they would not survive this. Several mutant scientists had just entered, growling, menacing, their only goal to kill the women. 

Nicole’s best friend Wynonna Earp had barely escaped into the recently opened portal, which had closed opposite the lab exit. Wynonna needed to save the two people they loved, half-angel and Wynonna’s sister Waverly, and immortal cowboy Doc. 

The homemade bomb was their last hope. The mutant scientists were nearly upon them. When the two girls’ hearing returned, they noticed the growls had become screams, and the mutants began scrambling to get away as quickly as they could.

“What’s going on?” Nicole asked. She looked over their shoulders at the backs of the retreating zombies. Then she smelled it. A strong vinegar odor permeated the air. She scrunched her nose in disgust and looked to Rachel. “Eew! What is that smell?”

Rachel, however, had a smile radiating from her entire face. “Kombucha,” she said, reverently. 

“Kombucha? What?” Nicole was perplexed. Though happy to hear the receding sounds of the zombies, she was having trouble associating the putrid smell with the pleasant look on Rachel’s face.

Rachel quickly explained, “Mom’s Kombucha. She used to make it all the time. She even taught me how to make it.” She pointed to the corner of the lab, where a 5-gallon jar once sat, destroyed from the blast. “She must have been brewing some here at work. 

“I’ve gotta google Zombie Deterrents when we get out of here. I might even update my blog with this information!” she said, more to herself than to Nicole. Then, to Nicole she instructed, “Stay here, I’m gonna look at what we’re dealing with. And stay quiet.” 

“Not going anywhere soon,” Nicole mumbled under her breath. Then quietly, as instructed, she added “be careful!”

“Duh!” Rachel rolled her eyes. She quietly grabbed the bat sitting nearby, and slunk towards the exit. No mutants could be seen nor heard in the lab all the way to the hallway they entered earlier that day.

Heading back to the lab, she spotted a First Aid Kit attached to the wall and took it down. She also looked around the hall for a suitable splint for Nicole’s leg. She passed a door labeled, “Janitor.” Opening it, she spotted a variety of cleaning supplies, including some mops. _It will have to do,_ she thought.

Rachel returned to the lab, loaded with supplies. “The creepers don’t seem to want to be within striking distance of this smell. You said you needed medical attention, so we should get out of there.” She set the items in her arms down and looked at Nicole for a reply. The red head nodded. 

Nicole eyed the supplies the other girl had collected. “What, now you’re a girl scout with a first aid badge?”

Rachel scoffed. “Please! They have nothing on The Valdez skill set. You called her Mayan Xena? Well,“ in her best Xena impersonation, she lowered her voice and raised her eyebrows, “I have many skills.”

Nicole was impressed. Rachel made as comfortable a splint as possible with the supplies she had, in no time flat. Gauze held two halves of an old mop handle to the sides of her leg. 

“Okay, how are we gonna get you out of here?” Rachel asked. Both girls surveyed their surroundings, hoping a crutch would magically appear. “I’ve got it! BRB!” 

She ran back through the exit of the lab and returned with a rolling office chair in front of her. She rolled it next to Nicole and bowed low. “Your limo ride awaits,” she said with a faux British accent, making Nicole smile.

Getting Nicole onto the seat of a moving target without jarring her leg more than necessary was a sight to be seen. It was quite a struggle. Eventually, she found herself upright in the chair. They had only caused a shock of pain to shoot up her leg twice.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Nicole looked at Rachel. Her focus from earlier was gone. Now a teenager who had to become an adult too soon remained. She should have been wondering how she did on her last exam, or gossiping about who asked whom out for the weekend.

Instead, Rachel was looking at her mother, who this morning a possibility existed that she was alive. Reality had settled on her shoulders. Her mother was dead.

“Hey, Rachel,” Nicole said softly. “I know this isn’t how you thought this would end. I am sorry about your mother. I know she would be so proud of how you’ve stepped up helping virtual strangers. I don’t want to rush you, but we really need to get out of here. We don’t know when the undead residents will return.”

Rachel slowly began nodding her head. She took in a slow, deep breath then exhaled. She turned to Nicole and said, “I promised Wynonna I wouldn’t leave you alone. I guess we need to get to a hospital.” 

She moved with determination towards Nicole, and her eyes glanced to the corner. “I Know how we are going to get out of here.” 

She smiled slyly and headed in the direction she was looking. She grabbed an abandoned lab coat and squatted over the liquid pooling on the floor. “This kombucha is not only loaded with healthy probiotics and antioxidants, it is also going to keep us from going rabid mutant!”

Nicole shuddered, but agreed to the plan. She grabbed the lab coat as Rachel handed it to her and set it on her lap. “Hand me the bat, too,” which Rachel complied. “Are you old enough to have a drivers license?” she asked Rachel.

“I have my permit. We got it just before my mom dis… before my mom died.” 

Nicole looked on with sympathy. “Ok, we can work with that.” She handed Rachel the keys. “Truck’s parked in back. Don’t scratch it,” she said with a smile.

“Jeez. Okay. Ready to go?” Rachel replied.

“Ok, lets go.” Nicole grabbed the seat of the chair with her free hand. Suddenly she cried out, “Shotgun!”

“Well, duh. Your leg is broken in three places. No way you’re driving,”

“No! Shotgun! The one I came in with. It belongs to…” she paused at the memory that the gun was mostly used by Waverly, “It belongs to the Earps.” Nicole said quietly.

“Oh, ok. Wynonna left it back where we suited up. We can grab it on our way out. It will also come in handy in case we meet a zombie friend.” 

Rachel began pushing the chair to the exit. She looked back to the body of her mother at the console. “bye, mom.” she whispered.

As she glanced over her shoulder, the chair began to spin, and Nicole caught a last look at the portal. “Don’t Earp this up, Wynonna,” she said. “Bring our Angel home safe.”  
_____

They got to the back door without incident. Before exiting the door, Nicole dropped the lab coat to the ground. “Ick. If I never smell that again it will be too soon!”

Rachel huffed in protest. The smell was mom. She would treasure it forever. 

Once outside, she was surprised to see an ancient blue and white striped truck parked there, held together with duct tape. “Don’t scratch it? Are you kidding me? Scratches would be an improvement!”

“Hey! Bonnie is a survivor! You be nice to her, she’ll be nice to you,” Nicole defended the truck, which admittedly had seen better days. But it had gotten the Earps around the Ghost River Triangle and safely home more than not. She deserved a little respect.

It took several bunny hops, scoots, and screams from the redhead before she was finally seated in the passenger seat. She was flushed from pain and effort the usually simple task required. They stowed their supplies behind the seat. 

Rachel made her way to the drivers side. She began giving herself a pep talk out loud on the way. “Okay, Rachel. You’ve got this. It is just a really big car. Sure Nicole is a complete stranger, but she seems cool. It will all be good. Deep breath,” Rachel did as she told herself, then climbed into the drivers seat.

The teen gave Nicole an uneasy smile. Trying to remember what she had learned about driving from her mom a while ago, she began going through a mental checklist. 

She adjusted the mirror, then moved the seat forward. She readjusted the mirror, then checked out the dash. Nervously she addressed the mirrors again, then moved to put the key in the ignition. Instead, they fell to the floor.

“You okay there?” Nicole asked.

Rachel replied with a shrug. She retrieved the keys and got the truck started. “Mom’s car is an electric hybrid, better for the environment. It starts with a push button. And it uses way less fossil fuels. As old as this truck is, it probably knew some of the dinosaurs in its tank right now.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. Rachel shifted into drive. She took her foot off the brake and the truck began moving forward. “Exit’s that way,” Nicole pointed behind her. 

Rachel braked too quickly, jarring Nicole’s leg. It sent a shock of pain through it, causing her to scream.

“Sorry!”

“No problem!” Nicole said with tears in her eyes. “You know the way to the hospital, in case I pass out?”

“Yes. Google maps.” Rachel was diligently holding the steering wheel with two hands in a death grip.

“Alrighty then. To the hospital,” and Nicole leaned her head back and closed her eyes, bracing herself for potential future bumps.

____

A woman in blue scrubs had entered the patient room where Nicole lay. She addressed the redhead. “For falling off a roof you managed to break your leg in 3 of the most perfect breaks I’ve ever seen. You’re a lucky lady!” 

Nicole gave a tight smile in return. “Yep! That’s me! A lucky gal!” _Except my best friend is missing, rescuing my girlfriend/maybe fiancee, and I have no way to help them,_ Nicole thought.

“Two of the breaks we were able to reduce, but the third needed a plate to stabilize it. The surgery went well, and I see no reason you won’t heal nicely. 

“Barring any complications, you’ll be out of here in a day or two. We’ll send you home on crutches, and you’ll be on your way back to normal!” The doctor grinned optimistically. 

Normal. In the past 24 hours Nicole had been kidnapped from Purgatory, placed on a train, jumped off said train, fought off zombies, sent her best friend through a portal to ‘the garden’, and escaped death because of Kombucha. She had to laugh out loud, so she did. 

The laugh drew a confused look from her doctor, who started to laugh along. 

Nicole shook her head gently and wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “It’s been quite a day. Yes, I look forward to returning to normal,” which got her laughing again. The doctor bade her farewell and left, puzzled by Nicole’s behavior.

Rachel was sitting in a recliner chair in the corner. She was occupying herself by scrolling through TikTok videos. “Those must be some good drugs they gave you,” she said sarcastically.

“Yep! I’ll be ‘normal’ in no time!” Nicole was down to a quiet chuckle at the moment.

Nicole looked at her left leg. It was covered with a soft cast, and felt swollen. Gauze padded what she assumed was the incision site on the outside of her leg. 

She was happy she could at least feel her toes, and all of them seemed to be stiff yet moving when she told them to. She tried to bend her knee and quickly changed her mind. Yeah, the drugs were good. Not that good.

Rachel. Nicole took in the teenager who for the first time since they met (was it only earlier that day?) She looked like a, well, typical teen. Phone in hand, slouched down in the seat, a look of boredom on her face. 

She admired her strength and bravery. From what she had learned of the raven haired girl, she had been living on her own for who knows how long. In a facility where zombies roamed. Eating out of trash cans. All the while searching for her mom, only to find her dead. What was to become of her?

Nicole held an internal conversation with herself, weighing the pros and cons. It was a habit she developed to remind her to see the bigger picture, and not just what she thought was right.

_I’m the sheriff. There are procedures. There are programs designed to help kids like her. I know who to contact. She’d be put into the foster care system, hopefully placed in a home with those who knew how to take care of her. She could finish high school. She could make friends her own age._

_I’m also the Sheriff of Purgatory. Rachel had been living in a rat-infested Black Badge Division research facility. She just watched Wynonna jump into a portal to who knows where. I saw her take a bat to the head of a zombie without blinking._

_Who would believe her? Would she be subject to the same treatment Wynonna went through?_ Waverly had only briefly told her stories. It did not sound pleasant. _At least I have knowledge about demons. I would believe her._

__

_Yeah. She’s coming with me._

Nicole shifted in the hospital bed to face the girl. She cleared her throat to get Rachel’s attention, then asked, “So, what is your plan now?”

“I don’t really have one,” Rachel said quietly, not looking up from her phone.

“Well, Wynonna did tell you to not leave me alone,” Nicole said. “I have found myself in need of assistance. I could use a hand for the next bit. I’d love to have you around.”

Rachel looked up from her phone. “What, you planning on becoming my new mom? I’m old enough to be on my own,” she snapped defensively.

“Oh, hell no. I would never be able to fill your moms shoes. I have a broken leg and need a gopher. You could fit the bill.”

“Will I have to go to school?”

“To be determined.”

“And what, sleep on your couch?”

“There’s a guest room at my house.”

“Will I have to report to you whenever I come and go?”

“I’m not your mom.”

“Do I have to cook?”

“Maybe a meal or two here and there.”

“Do you use local, 100% grass-fed beef?”

“Waverly’s vegan, therefore I mostly eat vegan.”

Rachel looked deep in thought. She sure didn’t want to go back to the BBD, knowing her mom was dead. 

Nicole’s offer didn’t sound like such a bad deal. It would be nice to sleep in a bed again. And have a regular meal every day. She wouldn’t be alone. She had no further questions or reasons to not take the red-head up on her offer.

“Well?” Nicole prompted.

“I did promise Wynonna, and I don’t back out on my promises. Ok. But just till they get back though,” Rachel said hurriedly. “Then I’m bouncing. I’ve got stuff I need to do, you know.”

“I can live with that. Who knows, by the time we get back to Purgatory, Wynonna, Doc and Waverly may be waiting for us,” Nicole said hopefully. She held out her hand to shake. “Deal?”

Rachel got up and walked over to her. She shook her hand, sealing the decision. “Deal.”  
_____

_Back in Purgatory, the rumbling and scream heard when Waverly entered the garden was a call to arms. Demons began arriving in the woods surrounding the stairs. Some looked human. Others had horns. They were as small as crabs, and went as big as grizzly bears and everything in between. Succubi, witches, werewolves, trolls, gremlins, goblins. They all heard the call, and they all came. Someone (something?) started a bonfire, because what kind demon party would it be without a bonfire? And the party began._


	2. Home, home, where I wanted to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t properly thank two people when I posted the first chapter. Soffi - I only do this because you encourage me to do so! Thank you for being awesome. Angie - your feedback is priceless and makes this story better to read. Thank you!
> 
> Also, shout out to Brent for his inspiring words to describe Waverly through Nicole’s eyes. Nailed it!

Nicole was discharged two days later. The swelling had gone down significantly, and her incision was clean. They had since put a hard cast on her left leg and given her instructions on how to use crutches and walk without using her left leg. The freedom to move, however limited, was welcomed.

The two days in the hospital went by mostly in silence. Nicole either slept or was in a medicine-induced fog. She sent Rachel to the cafeteria for meals, and Rachel never protested. 

One time after Nicole woke she thought Rachel had changed clothes. She definitely had a backpack, well worn, on the floor next to the recliner that wasn’t there before. She told Nicole, “I have hygiene standards I maintain even if I was avoiding death daily.” Other than that, she made herself a nest in the recliner, playing on her phone or sleeping. 

They were at Monument Medical Center, which meant they had a three-hour road trip ahead of them back to Purgatory. Nicole mentally went through a list of Her people to see if anyone would be contacted for a ride back. The town had been evacuated, taking her friends. The Earps were not answering their phones, so they had not returned either. 

That left Rachel. Since Rachel promised to watch after Nicole, they agreed she would have to drive. The amount of narcotics coursing through Nicole’s veins helped seal the deal. Nicole found she couldn’t pay attention to a conversation for more than 10 minutes. She couldn’t imagine being behind the wheel for hours.

Once out of the city and on the long road headed back to Purgatory, Rachel was able to relax a bit. “Your mom did a great job teaching you to drive,” Nicole praised. “I’ll make sure to sign off on your hours. If you like, I’ll help you get your drivers license when it’s time. I know people.”

The offer warmed Rachel’s heart. She’d been alone for a while, and to have someone care enough to do something for her felt... good. To Nicole, however, she shrugged a shoulder and answered, “I guess so. I mean, if I’m still around.”

“Ok, sounds fair.” Nicole sat back in her seat. Now, she hoped to get to know the teen a little better. “Care to play a game? I spy?” Both looked around at the flat plain covered in snow. Both shook their heads at that. “20 questions? Two truths and a lie?”

“I’ve never played that. How does it go?” Rachel queried.

“You tell me three things about yourself with one being a lie, then I have to guess which is a lie. For example, three things about me: I was once married, I have a dog, and I enjoy rock climbing. Which is the lie?”

“No way you were married! That has to be a lie,” Rachel laughed.  
____

The hours passed surprisingly quickly. They shared favorite school subjects (science for Rachel, psychology for Nicole), favorite meals (both were fans of tacos), and places they had been (Cancun for the beaches and to discover her family’s roots, Yosemite for the rock climbing). Rachel said a couple things about her mom after Nicole shared she didn’t really get along with her parents. 

Finally, they arrived in Purgatory. Town was eerily quiet, No residents had returned post evacuation. Nicole directed Rachel to her house. As tired as Nicole was, she was happy to be home. Closer to Waverly. 

Rachel exited the truck and stretched, stiff from sitting for so long. Rachel grabbed the crutches they stowed in the back seat and handed them to Nicole. She helped the invalid get out of the truck. Nicole managed to sit lengthwise across the bench and scoot feet first out the cab, left leg held in the air. Rachel helped situate Nicole on her feet, then they both sighed in victory as if completing their first marathon. 

“That wasn’t so bad! Only a few more stairs to go!” and Nicole hopped towards the front door. Rachel kindly helped her navigate the stairs, and she unlocked the door.

They were hit with the smell of cat. Having abandoned Calamity Jane, her fluffy orange cat, and not knowing she wasn’t returning the next day, CJ had left quite the mess. Her litter box was full, and to show her dissatisfaction with being left alone for so long, she had left ‘presents’ around the home. “Sorry about the smell. Calamity has been alone for days. Can’t really blame her.” Nicole said.

Nicole looked around the room. She could see signs of Waverly all around her house, as if she would arrive at any moment. A book she was reading lay on the coffee table, a bookmark holding her place and waiting to be picked up again. Nicole smiled at the thought.

“Well, it’s not much, but it’s mine. Help yourself to anything you can find in the kitchen. We can go to the store... the store is closed. Hmm. We might have to pull a B&E job to eat. The irony!” 

“I can’t wait to tell Wynonna,” Rachel smiled. “She’s gone a few days and you turn to a life of crime!”

Nicole crutched to the kitchen to grab some cleaning supplies. She turned and swung to the nearest pile of poop. As she was bending at the waist to clean it up, she wobbled a bit, causing Rachel to worry. “Hey, why don’t you let me do that?”

“I can’t ask you to clean up after my cat,” Nicole protested. 

“Don’t worry. I will charge you for this,” Rachel smiled. She walked to Nicole, who handed over the cleaning supplies, then began cleaning up the mess. 

Nicole headed to the couch and sat down, relieved to stretch out her long athletic frame. She let out a satisfied grunt.

Rachel surveyed the room for more piles, cleaned up the ones she found, then scooped the litter box. Everything cleaned and disposed, she blew out a breath of air. “Ok. I think I got it all,” Rachel looked around, not sure what to do now. “Need anything? A glass of water?”

“Actually, could you grab me an ice pack? There are several in the freezer. Maybe grab a towel in the bottom drawer next to the refrigerator.” 

Happy to have a task, she speed walked to the fridge. Meanwhile Nicole laid down on the couch, propping her leg up on some pillows. CJ decided that was a good time to make her grand entrance, and Nicole greeted her. “Calamity Jane! I’m sorry girl. I had no idea I would be gone for so long!” She gave CJ some attention, which got her purring happily. “I want you to meet Rachel. She’ll be staying with us for a bit.”

Nicole decided to quickly call Wynonna and Waverly’s phone, and both went to voicemail. “Their batteries could be drained having been in the garden all this time. Soon they’ll be back. Soon.”  
_____

Later that afternoon, Nicole could do no more. It was a long day, and she was in some pain. “The guest room should be set. I’m going to head to bed, I’m exhausted. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” Nicole grabbed the crutches from beside her. She stood slowly from the couch then headed for the stairs.

“Hey Nicole!” Rachel raised her voice to get her attention.

The redhead stopped and looked back at Rachel. “Yeah?”

“Um, thanks. For letting me stay.” She said humbly.

Nicole smiled, inside her head. To Rachel, she soberly said, “well, I needed a gopher, so I’m sure you’ll be useful. Goodnight!” Then headed upstairs. 

“Don’t forget the cat wasn’t in the bargain! I’m charging to take care of her!” Rachel shot back with a smile.  
_____

The next morning Nicole woke up eager to check out the homestead. She dressed in some loose blue track pants that fit over her cast, then crutched down the stairs. She made a pot of coffee on autopilot, then slowly put items for a bowl of cereal on the table one by one. She was fatigued after those few simple tasks, and felt the pain increase. 

She had hoped to hit the homestead, swing by the grocery store for a couple perishables, survey the town and stop at the sheriffs office to make sure everything was in order. Guess she will have to play it by ear. 

She checked her phone, no messages. Wynonna surely had everything under control. No need to worry yet. 

Rachel came out of the guest room, and stretched as she walked. “Morning.” She sidled up to the coffee maker and poured herself some. “Do you have any non-GMO almond milk?”

“In the fridge.” Rachel raised her eyebrows. “What? I told you Waverly was vegan!” Nicole said.

While Rachel helped herself to some breakfast, Nicole shared her thoughts on the plans for today. Rachel nodded in agreement. “Do I get to drive?” She asked. 

“I didn’t miraculously heal overnight. Your gopher duty includes driving for the foreseeable future.” Nicole replied.

Rachel smiled at this, “Cool cool cool.” She hurried to finish breakfast and cleaned up the small mess they made. She quickly put some food in CJ’s bowl and checked the litter box. “So far you owe me $15 for cat care,” she smiled. A quick trip to the bathroom to complete her daily ablutions and she was set. She grabbed the keys and said, “I’m ready to go when you are!”

They drove out to the homestead. Pulling up, Nicole’s heart rate increased. Maybe they were inside, waiting. She quickly got out of the truck, grabbing her crutches, and crutched to the front door. Once it was opened, she called out, “Waverly? Wynonna? Anyone home?” She ran crutched to the kitchen, next into Wynonna’s room, finally the hallway looking up the stairs.

She was met with silence. The silence was broken by Rachel entering behind her. “So, this is the homestead.” She quietly took it in, walking towards the hallway where Nicole stood. A single word, Valdez, was etched into the wall. “Why is my name carved into the wall?”

“I have no clue. Someone couldn’t have just grabbed a pen?” Nicole headed into the kitchen. Here is where she last saw Waverly. Waverly, who had just proposed to her. And she didn’t even get to answer her! _Stupid Wynonnus Interruptus. I may just punch her again for that._ “Where are you, Waverly?” she whispered.

Everything else looked in order inside the homestead. After checking on the barn and locking the main house up, they headed back to town. Nicole was feeling a bit tired, so they opted to help Rachel orient herself by driving around Purgatory. It was still empty of residents. 

“I’m thinking we may need to play it safe and hang low until I am feeling better.” Nicole said. ‘When the Earps return, I have a feeling everything will be worked out. The Earps have a way of making everything better. Eventually.”

Rachel replied, “Well, knowing Wynonna, you’re probably right. Hella crazy.”

“Yup.” Nicole agreed. “Okay if we head back home? Still feeling like I just broke my leg in 3 places.”  
_____

Later that day Nicole wanted to call her friends. She wondered if Jeremy and Robin were okay. Would he have any information?

She picked up her phone and pulled up Jeremy’s contact info and called him. No rings; it went straight to voicemail. When she heard the tone, she left a message. “Hey! Jer-Bear! Checking in with you! A lot has gone down here, we need to catch up. Call me,” and she hits the button to end the call.

Next, Nicole tried Robin with the same result. She left a similar message on his voicemail. 

She believed Nedley was on his way to Mexico, so she didn’t expect him to pick up, but she left a message nonetheless. “Hope you’re enjoying the sandy beaches and drinking pina coladas with the locals! Give me a call when you return to Purgatory. Im not sure if Chrissy told you, but things happened. Call me. Bye.”

The last person she talked to directly after they were removed from Purgatory was Kate. Was she taken to a BBD facility? Somewhere else? She found her number and gave her a call. Straight to voicemail. She left another message, asking for a return phone call. 

She called Wynonna. Nothing. She left a message, “This is not how you treat your best friend. You need to call me back ASAP! I’ll be checking on the homestead, so you don’t have to worry about that. Just… call me.”

She’d called everyone she could think of, except Doc and Waverly. In desperation, she called Doc. As with everyone, it went to voicemail. She didn’t know if he even checked voice mail, but left a message nonetheless. “Doc, it’s Nicole. Call me when you get this.”

Finally, she called Waverly. As it rang, her heart rate increased. Maybe this time she’ll pick up, Nicole thought. She didn’t pick up. Nicole didn’t leave a message.

Nicole tossed her phone on the coffee table.

It was quiet in the house, and she heard stifled sobs coming from the guest room. It was a big risk, not knowing how the teen would react, but she decided to check on Rachel. She hobbled over to the guest room door and knocked quietly, “Rachel, is everything ok in there?”

When Rachel didn’t answer, she slowly opened the door. Rachel was lying in a tight ball on the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. Wordlessly, Nicole crutched to the bed and sat down. She hesitated, then reached out to push Rachel’s hair off of her face. She gently stroked her hair, hoping to calm the grieving teen.

“I just miss her so much,” Rachel managed to say between tears.

“Hey, it’s OK,” Nicole whispered softly. 

“At least before I had hoped that my mom was alive. Now, I have nothing. I’m all alone.” Rachel began to cry harder. 

“No, you’re not,” Nicole comforted. “You’ve got me.” 

At this, Rachel sat up and gave Nicole a hug. She needed the physical presence of someone else. 

“You’re not alone,” Nicole said. “I’m here. And soon, Wynona will be back. And Doc. And Waverly. You’re going to love Waverly. She was voted the nicest person in Purgatory. She got a sash and everything for it.”

Rachel chuckled at this, and began weeping again. Nicole just held her, waiting for the tears and pain to be cried out. When the teen finally calmed down, she lay back down on the bed. “Thanks,” she said. Then, sniffling she asked, “What is Waverly like?”

This question made Nicole smile. “She’s so kind but so fierce. And smart! She speaks four languages! She has more knowledge than most people get in their whole life, and she’s only in her 20’s. 

“She remains optimistic even when everyone else isn’t. She always tries to see the best in people, even when no one else will.

“Wynonna may be the heir, and I may be the sheriff, but Waverly’s the real protector. She simply loves. Unconditionally. All that, and she’s beautiful.” 

“Wow. No wonder you guys think she’s an angel,” Rachel said. 

“No, she’s an actual angel. Half-angel.” Nicole added quickly.

Rachel had no reason to doubt Nicole. She lived in a building with mutant scientists after all. 

“It won’t fix the problem, but it might make you feel better. Care to join me for some tea?” Nicole asked quietly.

Rachel considered staying in bed, but Nicole had been so helpful, she decided to take the redhead up on her offer. “Sure. Tea would be nice.”  
_____

Another week had passed. Every night for the past week, when Nicole laid down to sleep, she’d throw up a prayer to whoever was listening. “Come back home to me, Waverly,” she’d pray. And every night, she would say that tomorrow was the day they would return. 

Then morning would come. She would check her phone for any messages. She would be disappointed to not see anything. Sometimes she would call everyone, sometimes she would leave a message. Then she would get up and make a plan for the day. Checking on town would nearly always be on the list. If she felt optimistic, they’d go to the homestead. 

Today Nicole was bored. Her energy had been returning, but her leg would start throbbing if on her feet too long. So she had it propped up again. She looked at the bookcase and noticed a journal that Waverly had given her for her last birthday. She hobbled to the bookcase and grabbed it. Inside Waverly had written: “For Detective Nicole Haught - my best baby.” Nicole sighed at the memory. 

It would be nice to keep a timeline for when they returned. Already two weeks had passed and though she wasn’t doing anything she still wanted a record. It’s the cop in her.

On the first page she began to write, ‘Return From The Garden.’ Then she wrote:

_March 15, 2018 -  
Purgatory evacuated.  
Wynonna roofies her team.  
Waverly and Doc enter the garden.  
Wynonna blocked from entering._

_March 16, 2018 -  
Woke up on train.  
Kate present on train. Tarot card reading. Given cards  
Jumped off train (didn’t break anything then!)  
Walked tracks back to Purgatory, ran into Wynonna.  
Punched Wynonna.  
Found Rachel.  
Stupid Wynonna stepped on the grate.  
Saved Wynonna, fell through grate, broke leg.  
Wynonna entered portal._

__

__

She was finding it cathartic to write it all down. She put in another few entries, then summed up today:  
_Day 15 of team gone:  
Still waiting for you._

Nicole smiled. When Waverly saw the entries she would think it sweet that Nicole wanted to show she was missed every day. She put the pen in the pen holder alongside the journal and set it aside.

She remembered Wynonna saying she was going to draw some dicks on her cast. It was childish and silly, but she got up in search of a sharpie and returned to the couch anyway. She smiled as she drew a crude cartoon rendition of the male anatomy. She was sure Wynonna would add far more detail, and probably use half the cast. However, this was enough. It made her smile thinking about her best friend. She couldn’t wait for her to see and insult it.

Her thoughts then turned back to Waverly. Nicole wondered what she would write. Some inspiring quote for sure. Perhaps a smiley face. She was about to do so, then changed her mind. She drew a butterfly in profile, simple and light. Very Waverly.

“Do I get to sign your cast?” Rachel had appeared from the guest room. 

“Knock yourself out.” Nicole handed her the sharpie.

“Any no-no’s to what to draw or not?” Rachel looked at the two recent additions. ”Wait, is that a penis? Never mind. I’m drawing whatever I want.” She thought for a moment, then began drawing. 

“Do you know the story of Kukulkan?” She asked Nicole, who shook her head. “Kukulkan was a great Mayan deity. He was a feathered snake, and was the ruler of creation and knowledge. Legend says he prophesied the end of the Mayan culture.”

She began drawing a serpent taking up the entire outside of the cast, making a repeating ’s’ from bottom to top. She drew a face of a snake with a square jaw, mouth open. Down the body she drew various symmetrical patterns, some resembling feathers, others just geometric shapes. “Whenever there was an earthquake, he was credited for it. Not because he was angry, just to remind you he was there.”

“I can see the guys needing to make noise to be remembered.” Nicole commented.

Rachel nodded in agreement. "He is all over the ruins of Chichen Itza. Unfortunately little is known about him. But I always think of him as strength and understanding. The Valdez was said to have this tattoo on her arm as a reminder to not make unwise decisions and to use logic to solve problems. What do you think?”

It was quite impressive. “Awesome!” Nicole admired the art that now decorated her cast. “I’m afraid to get it messed up! When I get it removed, I am so keeping this. Thank you, Rachel!”

“No prob,” Rachel replied. She capped the pen and walked to the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?” she asked as she walked.

“Um, there’s some chicken in the freezer- “Nicole began. She saw Rachel take a breath as if ready to ask a question. Before she could ask, Nicole continued, “and before you ask, yes it is range-free, organic and antibiotic-free.”

“Rice or ancient grains for the side?” Rachel smiled, satisfied with the option.

“Your choice,” Nicole replied. She stood up and went to get dinner ready for Calamity. When prepared, she hobbled over to the back door and yelled, “CJ! Come here girl!”

_The kitchen light shone across the back yard from Nicole’s house. It doesn’t reach the line of trees lining the back property. CJ sat on a low branch looking into the eyes of something that smelled pleasing to her. Cheesy tuna to be exact. Her favorite._

_The beast was partially covered in snails, spores, fungi and oozing brown balls, yet had underlying human qualities. A Hawaiian shirt hung from its shoulders, but wore no other clothing. It stared at the cat. Hands clenched and unclenched next to its body._

“CJ! Time to come in! Dinners ready!” Nicole yelled again.

_The eyes looked at Nicole, then back to CJ. Calamity had turned to look back at the house. In one surprisingly graceful move, she jumped down from the branch and headed inside._

_The beast slowly, silently turned and headed back towards the woods._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s talk Timeline! This is all based on the calendar Rachel looked at in the Diner. It is opened to March (hot fireman, btw!) 
> 
> Is it the current month or the month Purgatory was evacuated? There’s food left on the tables. Billy is wandering around like he owns the place. I’m thinking it never reopened from the evacuation, and everyone was taken by force then. So March is when Waverly went into the garden. 
> 
> What day? Well, I am writing this in 2020, and life stopped here in the US around March 16. So in honor of the Worst Year Ever, I started the timeline March 16, in the year of our lord… I don’t even know. 
> 
> Basically starting in March made for a more compelling and believable transition into the shell of a person Nicole was during Season 4. Plus, we all know the WE writers thumb their noses at continuity. So I can make up whatever I want.


	3. Trouble that can't be named

The doctor had cleared Nicole for more activity. They cut the cast off (yes, she kept it to show Wynonna. Plus, Rachel’s art was really cool). The loss of muscle was creepy, but it felt so nice to not have it so restricted. 

In its place she now had a walking boot. Because she had been putting little to no weight on her leg, she was pretty weak. She still needed crutches, but could put some weight on it. And the little weight she put on it felt… weird. But she was ready to be mobile!

Nicole immediately wanted to walk out to the stairs. She had asked Rachel to come along. First, it was never a good idea to go anywhere, especially the woods of the Ghost River Triangle alone. Second, she was still injured and may need help. Third and most importantly, she had grown to like the teenagers’ company. She was bright and quick witted, much like Wynonna. 

They hiked through the quiet woods. It was springtime, which meant less snow to slip on, and less snow to get inside her walking boot. Balancing on the uneven ground with crutches was a challenge but Nicole was so motivated to DO something she didn’t mind.

By the time they had hiked 30 minutes her leg hurt and she was tired. But she made it. And there, in the middle of the woods, stood a staircase with an arch at the top.

“I take it these are the stairs to the garden,” Rachel said unnecessarily. 

“Thank you, Captain obvious,” Nicole replied. She walked around them. Nothing supernatural jumped out at her, literally or figuratively.

“Should we climb them?” Rachel inquired.

“I’m a bit tired and shaky right now. Give me a minute.”

“How do you feel about me climbing them?” Rachel questioned. 

“Sure. They don’t look ominous at this moment.“ Nicole replied. 

Rachel put her foot in the bottom step and tentatively pushed her weight into it. Nothing happened. She began to climb. She reached the top and called down to Nicole, “nothing to see up here.” She peeked through the archway. “Looks like the top of some creepy stairs in the middle of the forest. But there is nothing else.”

Nicole sighed. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she was expecting something. Some sign or clue to the whereabouts of her friends. She sat down on the bottom step, dejected. “Where are you, Waverly?” She yelled. 

The walk back was a bit tense. Nicole’s leg was throbbing with pain, which increased her irritability. Rachel tried to get Nicole to relax a little, but she was having nothing of it. “They’ve been in there almost two months! What is taking so long? Have they been captured? Is one of them hurt?”

Rachel spoke calmly. “It’s Wynonna. She might have gotten a little lost trying to get back out.”

“Not a chance. Doc is the best tracker I’ve ever met. He’d know how to find a way back!” Nicole retorted. 

“We don’t know how big the garden is! And she didn’t have a machete with her. Gardens are lush with green. When we walked in the jungle in the Yucatán, I could see how difficult that could be.” Rachel understood where Nicole was coming from, really she did, but neurotic Nicole was a lot to handle. 

“I know! I just wish I could do something! I feel so inept right now.” Nicole stopped to lean back against a tree for a minute. The frustration was making her walk faster than she should, and her leg hurt. 

They made it back to the truck without incident. Nicole was in no better mood at that time, nor when they arrived back at home.  
Rachel did not want to be around Nicole at this moment. “I’m gonna go for a walk around town.” Nicole opened her mouth to protest, but Rachel continued, “Don’t worry, I avoided zombies inside the research facility. I know how to stay invisible.”

Nicole hesitated, but eventually caved. “Fine. But be back well before nightfall.”

“Fine, mom,” Rachel muttered under her breath. She decided to head towards town, itching to do some scavenging. She missed the thrill of a good find. Surely this town had a lot to offer.

Nicole was pissed. She had wasted 6 weeks laying around waiting for her leg to feel good enough to look for them anywhere outside the homestead or where a car could go. The stairs were a disappointment. Her leg ached. She grabbed an ice pack and took her pain medication. To release some of her anger, she journaled.

_1 month, 2 weeks, 4 days post portal:  
Cast removed.  
Walked to stairs. No evidence of anything._

Yep, that summed up today.  
_____

Rachel eventually returned home. Her backpack contained something, but she didn’t share, and Nicole didn’t ask. “Sorry I unloaded on you,” Nicole said. “I guess I am just… disappointed.”

“Don’t worry. I get it. Been there done that, remember?” Rachel pointed out.

“Right. Sorry again.”

“Forget about it,” Rachel said. She stood in the kitchen, nervously rocking back and forth from foot to foot. “Hey, Nicole? Is it alright if I make some Kombucha?”

“I guess. Any reason you want to start now?” Nicole asked, hoping to ease Rachel’s nerves.

“Well,” Rachel started. “I might have seen something when I was walking around.”

“Are you okay? What did you see?” Nicole slipped into cop mode.

“I’m fine. It was a monster. It didn’t see me, but I was downwind and it smelled of boys’ feet and blue cheese.”

“Where was this?” Sheriff Nicole asked.

“It was in someone’s back yard. Three blocks over towards town,” Rachel replied. 

“What did it look like?”  
“Big, ugly looking troll. Maybe all furry? It looked earthy? I guess about your height? It was hard to tell.” replied Rachel. 

“Was it doing anything suspicious?”

“Other than being a big, creepy monster? No. It was just walking around.”

“We should be more alert until we know more. For the time being maybe we should stay smart and go out together,” Nicole informed Rachel.

“So is that a yes? The kombucha worked as a zombie deterrent at the lab, I thought it might work for ugly troll-looking monsters, too.”

“Not looking forward to the smell, but yeah. Knock yourself out.”

Nicole got up and prepared Calamity Jane’s dinner. She called out the back door, “CJ! Dinnertime!” After a few minutes, she tried again, to no avail. 

It had been too much of a day. On top of the disappointment at the stairs to Calamity Jane going missing, she also overdid it with her leg. She was tired and preoccupied. That night’s sleep was restless.  
_____

The next morning, Calamity Jane was still MIA. “This week keeps getting better and better!” Nicole said, her irritation evident. There was no sign of CJ around the property. the redhead ventured into the woods, but again saw no sign of the cat.  
_____

Later that week, Nicole made her routine calls to all her friends. She tried Jeremy for what felt like the hundredth time. She was about to hang up when Jeremy picked up the line. “Heeey, Nicole!” 

“Jeremy! Would it kill you to to have let me know how you’re doing?” Nicole snapped. “It’s been weeks!”

“Well, I’ve kinda been busy. I’ve been recruited to help with the recovery efforts after the evacuation.” he said slowly. “What’s up with you?”

“Well, in a nutshell, Waverly and Doc entered the garden through the stairs. Wynonna found a way into the garden using an old BBD Facility over in Monument. Someone gave her a clue of ‘Valdez’ at the homestead which led her to it.” Nicole started.

“She got my message! Would it kill her to have pens?” Jeremy joked.

“Right? Anyway, It’s been two months. Any thoughts on how we can get them back?” Nicole asked, more hopeful than she had been since her cast came off.

“Pssssh. They’re fine,” Jeremy chuckled nervously. “They’ll be back in no time. I mean, this is Wynonna we are talking about here.”

“I know, but my best friend and girlfriend-maybe-fiancee are god knows where, I broke my leg, and my cat has disappeared. I feel so useless! There has to be something we can do!” Nicole pressed.

“Fiancee? Really? Congratulations! “Jeremy said enthusiastically. "I’ll look into it and get back to you.” It sounded like he was brushing her off!

“That’s it? What have you been doing?” Nicole inquired.

“Oh, you know. Science stuff. Listen, my boss just came back and I gotta jet.”

“Wait! How is Robin?” 

Jeremy paused, then answered, “He’s safe. I have to go. Talk to you soon!” He hung up.

“Oh, no you did NOT just hang up on me!”” Nicole was livid. She quickly dialed his number, but it went straight to voicemail. “I am adding you to the people I would like to punch, JerBear!”  
_____

Nicole and Rachel had been visiting the homestead regularly. Today as they pulled up, something was different. The front door was open. Correction: the front door was in the front yard. 

Nicole had been using two crutches less and less. She left one in the truck and skip-hop-ran up to the front of the house. Upon inspection inside, someone had gone through the refrigerator and pantry, emptying it of food. They had cooked a meal prior to leaving. The kitchen was a mess. 

Whoever broke in must not have wanted to stay or rob the place. The computer remained in Waverly’s room. Nothing else seemed out of place. However it was unsettling to have someone else in the homestead. 

“I need to move out here,” Nicole said. “I need to protect the homestead.”

Nicole turned to address Rachel. “I can’t ask you to stay against your will any longer. I’m getting around ok. You’ve been such a great help, and I know you have a life.”

Rachel looked at Nicole for a minute then looked around. Her eyes landed on her name carved into the wall. “Actually, I think I’m meant to stay.” 

Nicole smiled. “You sure? You’re not obligated to stay.” Rachel had grown on her, and it made her day to hear she wanted to stay.

“I’m sure. To be honest, I don’t really have anywhere else to go. It was only my mom and I. You’re the closest thing I have to family right now.” Rachel looked a little overwhelmed at the admission.

This touched Nicole. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” She crutched up to Waverly’s room and found a red sharpie. Walking over to where ‘Valdez’ was etched into the wall, she bent down and wrote one simple word. 

“Chez Valdez?” Rachel smiled. “Not bad. So the homestead is mine now?”

“Don’t push your luck! You do not want to cross Wynonna. Always remember you are on Earp land,” Nicole warned.  
_____  
That afternoon, after the door had been repaired, Nicole decided the place needed a spring, well early summer, cleaning. To boost her mood and to make the time go by quicker, she pulled up a favorite Spotify list. 

The first song to come on was “Clocks” by Coldplay. A soft smile graced Nicole‘s face. She was taken back to a memory of a time with Waverly. 

_It wasn’t a special date, or some big Moment with a capital M. It was simply a day they were driving to town from the Homestead. “Clocks” came on and they were both singing along. They were happy._

_As the song came to a close, Nicole turned to Waverly and told her “Baby, you know you are my home, right? I mean it when I said ‘where you go I go’.”_

_She was rewarded with her favorite smile. Waverly’s eyes became crescents, dimples on her cheeks, her teeth brilliant white. “I know,” Waverly said, and leaned over from the passenger seat towards Nicole to kiss her cheek. “You are my home too.” Nicole turned at the last moment to kiss her on the lips._

_Both smiled the rest of the drive to town._

Nicole returned to the present. She missed Waverly’s smile. She missed her eyes. She missed her soft kisses. She missed falling asleep next to her, and waking up to her sleepy eyes and bed head. 

Nicole hated feeling hopeless. She was trying so hard to help bring them back from the garden with no results. So, she turned back to the task at hand and resumed cleaning the Homestead.

It took Nicole a couple hours to clean the kitchen and living area. Her leg was throbbing pretty good, so she took an anti-inflammatory to ease the pain. She was sure she had overdone it today. Despite the leg pain, it felt good to be doing something related to the Earps. 

Nicole headed up to Waverley‘s room. There was still a faint smell of Waverly in the room, which comforted Nicole. She looked around and saw the clothes hanging in her closet. I may not be able to protect you wherever you are, she thought, but I can protect your clothes.

Accomplished. A couple months had passed, and for the first time in a long time she actually felt productive in regards to the Earps and their return from the garden. She decided to make a quick Journal entry to mark the occasion:

 _2 months, 3 weeks, 3 days since you’ve been gone  
Homestead broken into. Front door repaired. Kitchen was a mess. Cleaned it up, as well as living room.  
Organized Waverly’s closet and stowed clothes by fabric: Faux Fur, Flirty Florals, Feminine flannels.  
Rachel and I are moving into the homestead to provide better protection.  
I feel closer to you than I have in a long time, Waves (fine, you too Wynonna.)_  
_____

Back in town, the residents of Purgatory began to return. This meant Nicole’s sheriff duties increased. Only two deputies had come back to work, and they were spread thin. Her leg had continued to heal, and she was down to a mild limp. She definitely felt it at the end of the day, especially a work day.

Today as Nicole tried to organize the sheriff’s office, she mentally reviewed the status of all her friends. The Earps, of course, were MIA with Doc “in the garden.” Jeremy, “helping with the evacuation process. Robin, “safe.” She hadn’t heard from Randy Nedley, and she was eager for some news. _Wow, some cop you are,_ she thought sarcastically, _you know where one of your 6 friends are._

In a serendipitous moment, Chrissy Nedley stopped by the station that afternoon. “Nicole! I am glad to see you!” She said, distraught. “Have you heard from dad?”

“Why would I have heard from him? He said he was going to a beach and asked me not to bother trying to contact him. Though I did leave several messages… And since then I’ve been preoccupied with… things.” Nicole replied. 

“What about Wynonna? She was the last person he was seen with.” Chrissy said accusingly.

“Wynonna never said anything about Nedley before… she left to Monument.” Nicole really needed to work on her backstory. She felt that was vague enough yet enough. “She should be back soon and we can get this all sorted out.”

“Well, how long has she been gone?” Chrissy snapped.

_4 months, 5 days,_ Nicole said in her head. “She has been MIA since the evacuation as well.”

“Figures. A little trouble and Wynonna runs,” Chrissy said.

“She’ll be back.” Nicole said in her most confident, authoritative voice. “In the meantime, let's figure out where your dad went.”

Now Nicole was really concerned with being unable to locate Nedley. Leave it to Wynonna to not mention Nedley was still in Purgatory. Yet another lie/omission from the Heir. 

At least she knew Doc, Waverly, and Wynonna were together. Well, she hoped they were. She thought they’d be back by now.

But having no information on Nedley was very uncharacteristic of him. He didn’t like people making a fuss over him. He would’ve made sure at least Chrissy knew he was OK. Now she had another person she cared for missing from her life. She was starting to feel very alone.  
_____

Nicole and Rachel had been at the homestead for a few weeks. Nicole was tired, making sure all the citizens of Purgatory who were returning felt safe in doing so. The demon activity had been increasing, and it was getting harder to hide this from the locals. 

Early one morning the women were awakened by a noise by the front arch of the property. “Did Coachella show up at our front door this morning?” Rachel shouted.

They looked to the front archway and saw dirt flying up in the air from a nearby ditch. “What in the world?” Nicole wondered. “Grab a shotgun,” Nicole instructed Rachel.

Both duly armed, they opened the front door and headed for cover by the barn. They continued towards the ditch, hoping to take the varmint unawares. When they finally come into view, they see a skinny, shiny green-skinned monster digging madly in the dirt.

“What the hell is that?” Nicole whispered.

“Shh!” Rachel warned.

Too late. The monster had turned towards the pair. It bared its teeth, growled, and sat back on its haunches in preparation of launching towards them. Both girls had already shouldered their respective shotguns and did not hesitate. It launched. They fired concurrently. Both landed on their target, and the charging monster fell dead.

“What the hell was that?” Nicole and Rachel yelled at the same time, adrenaline pumping through their veins.  
They both slowly approached the monster. “It was digging into that burrow there,” Rachel pointed to the hole behind it.

“Have you ever seen what lives there?” Nicole asked, still walking slowly. She squatted down to get a closer view of what the monster was digging at.

“I know I’ve been seeing a skunk walking around out here, but I don’t really follow the living habits of our nearest neighbors,” Rachel said sarcastically.

“Skunks?” Nicole’s mind was running. She snapped a photo of the monster with her phone. “Lets go see if we can find this in Waverly’s research books.”

They headed inside and grabbed several reference books. They seated themselves in the living room in front of the dormant fireplace. Less than an hour later, they had found an answer to their mystery. “Waverly could have done this in 10 minutes. Looks like we killed a goblin.” Nicole noted. 

Rachel read the entry: “A goblin is a monstrous creature that appears in the folklore of multiple European cultures, first attested in stories from the Middle Ages. They are ascribed various and conflicting abilities, temperaments and appearances depending on the story and country of origin.”

She scanned down the page and continued, “A goblin’s diet consists primarily of raw meat. Guess we had a hungry visitor? Glad it found the skunk and not us.”

“I’d rather keep monsters away from the homestead. Nicole stated needlessly. “I’d like to stay ahead of the attacks that will be coming. Ever done any trapping?”

“My mom was a brilliant scientist. Why would I have done trapping?” Rachel asked incredulously. 

“Rhetorical Question, Rachel. We are making traps,” Nicole said finally. 

“Whatever you say, Daniel Boone,” Rachel replied. “In the mean time, what are we going to do with our goblin?”

“Good question. Waverly would know. Doc would be able to track where it came from. And Wynonna… well, she would have found the perfect witty thing to say.” A sad smile came to Nicole’s face.

Rachel saw the change cross her friend’s face and tried to distract her. “Hey, let’s take it one step at a time. We’ll build some traps, catch some monsters and Bob’s your Uncle.”

“I don’t know what that means. Who’s Bob?” Nicole was shaking her head with a questioning look on her face.

“No. Bob’s your Uncle. It’s a saying. People say it all the time.” Rachel wanted to explain, but found she also had no idea what it meant.

Nicole looked at Rachel blankly. “Ok, if you say so.” She stood up and stretched her legs. “I’ll go grab a shovel.”

 _4 months, 1 week  
Killed a goblin today. Never thought I’d have to write that.  
Built some traps, and Rob’s your Uncle._  
_____

Rachel was pretty excited. She had just completed her hours required to fulfill her permit, and now she was ready to take the test for her drivers license. Nicole had been great in letting her drive and being patient with her mistakes (‘learning opportunities’ Nicole had called them). She walked as calmly as she could into the kitchen.

Nicole sat in a chair with her head resting in her hand, elbow propped on the table. A cup of coffee sat cold in front of her. She looked tired. “Good morning!” Rachel sang.

Nicole startled in her seat and lifted her head off her hand. “Hey! You are chipper this morning.” She rubbed her face with her hands in an attempt to wipe the sleep away.

“What’s on the agenda today?” Rachel inquired.

“Oh, uh. I thought I heard some activity to the south by the poplars last night. Thought we should build another trap there today.” 

“Yeah, we could use the exercise!”

“Yeah. Right.” Nicole said. 

“So... do we need to go to town for anything today?” 

“What? Oh, I guess we could use some more Almond milk. You could drive if you want.”

“Actually,” Rachel said, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice, “I completed all the driving hours, and I’ve had my permit for well over a year. We could swing by the DMV for my drivers license...” 

A tiny spark of light showed up in Nicole’s eyes. “You got all the hours done? Where did the time go?” Pain flashed across her face, and she closed her eyes tightly. She shook her head in an attempt to shake off the darkness. “Yeah. Let’s head to town to get your license. Today is a big day for you!” She smiled genuinely at the younger woman. 

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. She was going to get her driver’s license. For a moment, she felt… like a teenager.  
_____

_5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days_

__

__

_Today is your birthday. You are supposed to be here. You need to get home._

“Happy birthday, Waves. I got a gift for you.” Nicole was sitting on the rail on the front porch watching the sunset. She sat there often to be close to Waverly. At times she would play out the proposal differently in her head, saying yes, the two kissing in celebration of a life they would have together. However, today she felt alone.

“I hope you like it. I’d love to give it to you.” she continued speaking out loud despite no one else being around. On a stump nearby rested a bottle of whiskey. Nicole was a happy drunk. Almost always. But today… Today she drank to numb the pain. 

“It’s a scarf.” Nicole had been drinking straight from the bottle since mid-afternoon, and would definitely put herself in the drunk tank had she been anywhere near town.

“It kinda looks like tonight’s sky,” The sunset was beautiful. The pinks lined the bottom of the white clouds high above her head, various hues of orange surrounding the sun sinking into the horizon. Nicole struggled to see the colors clearly, as tears filled her eyes.

“It’s getting colder outside. I know how you get cold easily,” Nicole’s throat started feeling tight. She picked up the bottle and swallowed another shot to try to fend off the emotions flooding her body.

“I even wrapped it with a bow. You know I never do that,” a sob escaped her lips against her will. She gripped the gift trying to ground herself instead of giving in to the sorrow. 

But it was no use. “I’m begging you, please come home,” she continued, despite the sobs wracking her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my fellow clueless American friends: My son’s mom is Australian and uses the phrase "And Bob's your Uncle" all the time. It cracks me up. Google says it means "and there it is" or "and there you have it". Typically, someone says it to conclude a set of simple instructions or when a result is reached.


	4. Am I part of the cure or am I part of the disease

Nicole had taken to walking in the woods alone. She knew it was stupid and risky, but she didn’t want company. She only wanted to find her family. 

It was late September. Leaves crunched underfoot with every step. _Waverly loves the sound of dried leaves crunching,_ Nicole thought. It would have been a beautiful hike if Nicole weren’t so preoccupied.

Today her leg throbbed at the brutal pace she had set, but she had covered this section of the woods and wanted to get farther in than before. She no longer used her crutches, but she packed her hiking sticks just in case. She was glad she did because she was using them now. 

When she reached her goal, a glade alongside a creek a few miles in, she slowed. Here, she started walking slowly just inside the tree line. 

She was starting to notice things from her ventures. A path here, evidence of where animals (she thought they were just animals and not monsters) had bedded in the night there. She was no tracker, and was slightly irritated at herself for wishing Doc were here.

Along one of the larger paths heading towards a creek Nicole heard a branch crack. Then another. Looking around her she saw nothing. However, she felt like she was being watched. It spooked her to the point she decided to head back. Another worthless trip to the middle of the woods, and to top it off she got spooked.

On her return trip, Nicole stopped to rest her now painful leg. She pulled out her water bottle and took out her journal. She logged her location, then again felt as if she was being watched. She gathered her things and walked as fast as she could get to her patrol car. Back as fast as she could to the Homestead.

_The beast was drinking from the creek, when it heard Her. The one it felt drawn to. The one in pain. The beast stood slowly, hoping to approach Her. It silently turned and headed towards Her, but being the big clumsy oaf it was, it made too much noise and scared Her._

_When the beast saw Her later, it chose to not scare Her, but watch to make sure She was okay. The beast whimpered sadly, as She walked faster away, heading back to Her home. Another time, the beast thought. She will talk to me another time._  
_____

Nicole arrived back at the homestead in more pain than she had been in a while. She headed to the kitchen to grab an ice pack to ease the pain. She also gave in and took an opioid. She had a few left and she hated taking them. They made her thinking fuzzy but they did alleviate the pain. Her body and head hurt, so she lay down on the couch to ice and think. She was surprised when she woke a couple hours later. She was still irritable, but the pain had decreased.

Looking for something productive to do, she decided to do a trap check. She hobbled to the back door and grabbed a shotgun. 

Nicoles’ thoughts were all scrambled as she checked the traps. Waverly, Wynonna and Doc had been gone over six months. Jeremy more or less had abandoned her. Nedley was missing. 

Her stupid leg made her too slow. The town was in chaos. Her deputies were young and afraid. The demons were getting more active. Monsters kept trying to get into the homestead.

She had never felt so alone. The thought made her angry as she headed back. Her mood did not improve as she entered the house. 

Rachel was in the kitchen, turned to the redhead and looked at her face. She could see the pain there. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Why?”

“Just sit down,” Rachel commanded. Nicole complied. “Wanna talk about it?” 

“What’s to talk about?” Nicole snapped. “I took a walk in the woods and made my leg hurt by overdoing it. I also felt like I was being watched, got creeped out. I have to do trap checks to protect us from monsters. Monsters! Oh, and accomplished nothing yet again today.”

“I’m always up for a walk in the woods,” Rachel offered. 

“Not sure having you be there will help,” Nicole said, defeated.

“Have you been taking care of yourself? You’re limping pretty good right now.” Rachel was trying to brainstorm and help her friend.

Nicole sighed. She hadn’t taken time for herself. “The doctor gave me a prescription for PT, maybe I should go.”

“Ya think? You can’t do everything yourself.” Rachel reminded her.

Nicole thought for a moment. A gear clicked into place. “When did you become so wise?” she said to the teenager.

“Sometimes I luck out.” Rachel smiled.

Tomorrow. 

_Tomorrow I seriously start rehabbing my leg. The PT is back in town. Yes. I’ll call her tomorrow,_ Nicole thought.

It felt good to have something she could control. “Thanks, Rachel. I can get stuck in my head sometimes.” Nicole said.

“I get it. Been there, done that.” Rachel replied. “You’ve got this, ok? And I’m not going anywhere.”  
_____

Nicole was lying down in Waverly’s room.The talk with Rachel gave her a spark she needed to keep going. As she was drifting to sleep, she thought of her journal entry she just completed:

_6m1w1d_

_I can’t believe it’s been over 6 months since you’ve been gone, Waverly. My heart hurts without you in my life. But I’m going to keep getting better, and I’ll keep trying to get you back._

_I am not sure what opening the gate to the garden did, but the woods feel alive, and not in a good way. I know I was being watched today. And the traps that Rachel and I made catch a monster weekly._

_You’ll like Rachel. I hope you don’t mind, but she’s staying as long as she needs to. She’s been through a lot. And she’s Wynonna-approved._

_Tomorrow I’ll be heading to PT. Time for me to get this leg back in shape for real. Time for you to come home and meet a new friend. I love you._

She drifted to sleep comfortably for the first time in weeks.  
_____

Rachel and Nicole were doing trap checks. They were up to four, and they checked them several times a day. They had caught goblins and gremlins, demons with horns, a werewolf, and a couple zombies from the lab. 

Today one of the traps was disturbed, but empty. Inside, Nicole found a torn piece of cloth. It was stuck in the steel jaws of a bear trap at the bottom of the hole. It was dirty brown and stank.

She picked it up and studied it closer. The pattern was a blue Hawaiian style shirt. She had seen it before but couldn’t place it immediately. It had some dried dirt on it, and a faint smell of cheese. She tucked it in her pocket and continued checking the other traps.

When they returned to the homestead Nicole pulled out the cloth. She grabbed her journal and meticulously logged the information under the days entry. It was a vaguely familiar pattern. 

Nicole looked at it, trying to recall. It could’ve been as long ago as the time of the evacuation. Maybe a little before? Only old men wore Hawaiian shirts in purgatory to “dress up.” She didn’t see it at Shorty’s. Wasn’t at the diner, either.

She shook her head, and placed it inside the journal. Perhaps another day she would remember.  
_____

Nicole was tired. She was truly trying to find the Earps. She missed Waverly so much. She couldn’t give up Waverly. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

Her leg still ached. Especially on days she pulled doubles. Physical Therapy was definitely helping. She could move faster, and mornings were decent once she stretched and did her exercises. But she still broke her leg in three places. If she could find another thing to be thankful for, it was that her break could have ended up so much worse. 

Nicole was pulling doubles, barely making it back to the homestead. But she always returned. She had grown to feel responsible for Rachel. It was as if the teen was her one thread to tie her to reality. 

The town was still in chaos. Nicole was at Shorty’s regularly breaking up one fight after another. She even had to break up a fight in the grocery store over the last bag of toilet paper. Toilet paper! What was the Purgatory coming to?

At Shorty’s that night, a simple fight started at the pool table that escalated quickly. Nicole was in the thick of it, trying to defuse the situation. Over the noise, someone bellowed, “Quiet!”

It worked, because it got quiet fast. Many of the people in the fight looked to the speaker. Having everyone’s attention, he spoke. “I thought we were all law-abiding citizens here. We respect the law. If we lose that, we lose our humanity.”

Nicole admitted he had her attention. 

The gentleman continued. “I see the sheriff is present. Since when is it okay to not listen to the law?” he asked rhetorically.

“She appears to be doing her job. Isn’t she?” He asked a patron to his right. The patron nodded his head.

“Well, then. You come in to Shorty’s for a beer and conversation. If you have a disagreement, take it outside. We okay with that?” the man asked the room.

Everyone seemed to agree. One of the two who had been in the initial fight grabbed his baseball cap and left in a storm. 

“Alright, then. As civilized people, let us respect this establishment and its owners.” the man finished his speech, grabbed a bar stool that had tipped over and set it back on its feet.

Tables and chairs were righted. Apologies were exchanged. Someone racked up the balls at the pool table to start another game. Several headed to the bar to get a new drink, making sure to tip the bartender and waitresses extra for their trouble. It was as if the patrons fell under a spell.

Nicole headed over to the newcomer. “Good evening, I am sheriff Nicole Haught.” She held out her hand in greeting.

The stranger hesitated the slightest moment, then shook her hand. “Holt Claiborne. It looked like you were having trouble doing your job just then.” His steel blue eyes met hers in a challenging manner. 

“I appreciate you stepping in there. Things don’t usually get that out of hand,” Nicole’s brown eyes stared back into his.

“You live out at the Earp Homestead.” Holt stated rather than ask. “Earps aren’t around, are they?”

Nicole observed him suspiciously yet said nothing.

“That’s a shame. Wonder when they’re coming back. All alone out there in the dark with God knows what in the woods.” Holt’s sentiment did not equal his words. “Best be careful.”

“You have nothing to worry about.” Sheriff Haught stated. “We’ve got it handled.”

Holt said “We? You mean you and that little teenage girl you got out there?” He smirked. “Hmm. If you say so.”

Holt decided the conversation was over, so he nodded his head slightly. “Pleasure to meet you, sheriff Haught,” not meaning it at all. With that, he headed over to the bar to order a drink.

Nicole decided she needed to learn more about this Holt Claiborne.  
_____

Back at the Homestead, Nicole was sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking some tea. She heard some grunting coming from the yard. She headed to the window to see what it was. It was the troll, walking towards the house like it owned the place. 

“Superman’s taking out the trash!” Nicole yelled. 

Rachel entered the room at a run, shotgun in hand. “Which one is it?” She asked on her way.

“The troll.” Nicole opened the front door a crack.”Hand me the shotgun.” She held out her hand, and Rachel placed the gun in it.

Nicole took aim, and shot. Brown tufts came off his arm where the shot landed. 

The hit stopped the troll from advancing. It grabbed its arm where it was shot, turned around, and retreated to behind the barn. The girls eventually saw it enter the forest, moving away from the house.

“That’s the fourth time it’s been here. Didn’t get that close last time.” Rachel noted.

“We need to put another trap behind the barn.” Nicole said. 

“We are also running low on ammo. I just opened the last box.” Rachel reported. 

“Ok. I’ll talk to Jimmy at the Army Surplus store. He’s the most reliable on getting supplies fast.” Nicole said. She mentally went through the inventory at the jail. “In the mean time, we could use some of the confiscated ammo from the office.”

“Is that legal?” Rachel inquired.

 _No, it isn’t._ Nicole thought. “I keep careful records. With the border patrol limiting what comes in, this has become an emergency situation.” she said.  
_____

“And how exactly do you know how to do this?” Rachel was trying to wrap her mind around what they were doing. 

Currently, Rachel was holding a burlap bag around the front half of a skunk, and Nicole was holding a glass jar beneath its privates. 

Nicole decided since the goblin was trying to get to the skunk, the skunk odor would make the best bait for the traps.

“Hold its paws down. We don’t want to kill it, and we don’t want to get sprayed.” Nicole instructed. Rachel complied, and Nicole acknowledged, “Yeah, like that.” 

Nicole felt for the small marble-like glands next to the skunks’ anus. She proceeded to ‘milk’ the sacs which contained the skunk odor.

“Well, when I was in high school there was this girl I though was cute, and this punk kid, Mitch, also liked her. 

“Unfortunately for Mitch, his idea of impressing the girl was to make fun of this scrawny little boy named Josh. Josh had this birthmark on his head which made him have this spot of white hair and the rest of his head was midnight black, which sadly made him an easy target.”

“I had a S.T.E.M. class with Josh. Smart kid. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went on to become chemistry whiz.” Nicole recalled. 

No more essence was coming out. “I think that’s good. We can let this little guy go,” Nicole directed Rachel.

Rachel carefully set the skunk down and freed it from the burlap prison. Once down, she and Nicole performed an intricate handshake, starting with a high five, elbow bump, back-to-back back-hand slap, pinky grab, hand grasp, then finished by pulling away and snapping their fingers.

“You need to teach that to Wynonna.” Rachel said.

“I’ve tried. I’ve also given up. We stick to finger pistols for the sake of our friendship.” Nicole answered.

“So, anyway,” Nicole continued her story. “Mitch started taunting Josh saying ‘you look like a skunk!’ He found it hilarious so he started calling him skunk over and over. It was so juvenile.

“I never have liked when someone took advantage of anothers’ weaknesses. I’ve always felt protective. Guess that’s why I became a cop!” Nicole stopped at the revelation. She didn’t realize she had wanted to be a cop for that long.

“I also wanted to impress the girl, so I thought I’d teach Mitch a lesson. I googled how to milk a skunk. Not helpful,” she smiled. 

“I decided to go for it. Totally failed a few times. Then I got the burlap bag setup and it worked like a charm!

“Finally, I got enough milked. I dumped it all over Mitch in class. He stank for days. He also stopped bugging Josh.”

Rachel started laughing. “There were probably easier ways to make him stop!”

“I know. I was never one to back away from a challenge!” Nicole smiled. 

“Did you get the girl?” Rachel asked.

“Nope! She started dating Josh. I was heartbroken.” Nicole wrapped up the story with flair, grasping at her chest as if experiencing the heartbreak again.

Rachel laughed. It was something she could see happening. She noticed this was the first time Nicole smiled this genuinely in months. It was nice to see her smile. 

“All right. Let’s bait those traps.” Nicole started heading to the nearest trap.

That evening, Nicole updated her journal.

_7 months, 3 weeks, 6 days_

_Troll appeared again  
Added fifth trap to property behind barn. Other four to left and right of arch in front, by the silo and behind woodpile out back upgraded with warning system. Code: Batman’s in the Microwave  
30 cans of ammo placed in homestead for safekeeping  
Showed Rachel how to milk a skunk_  
_____

Nicole was at the homestead, tired after another long day of unrest in town and lack of clues for finding the Earps. She was flipping through her journal, trying to find an answer. The Hawaiian shirt swatch fell out. She looked at it again, and a memory was triggered.

The sheriff station. Someone had come in. To say goodbye. And then she remembered. 

Nedley. 

He was packed and loaded to go to Punta Cana. He had finished aiding in the evacuation of Purgatory and was just stopping by to let Nicole know he wouldn’t be available for the next month. And not to worry, he had set his DVR to tape RuPauls Drag Race.

Nedley told Nicole he was taking his retirement seriously and wouldn’t have his phone on. “Just picture me sitting on a beach drinking piña colada‘s in front of my cabana.”

He had never left Purgatory. 

She studied the swatch again. The dirt appeared to be the same color as the troll. Was it the troll that killed Nedley? It seemed the only logical conclusion. She wanted to confirm her theory with Rachel.

Rachel was in the kitchen making yet another batch of kombucha. Seriously, she was obsessed. _At least I’ve gotten used to the smell,_ Nicole thought. 

“Rachel,” Nicole said, “I found this in one of the traps last month. Do you recognize anything about it?”

Rachel turned to the redhead and took the cloth from her hand. “Why would I recognize it? It’s nothing I would wear.” Rachel said. 

“Use your other senses. Doc once told me it’s not just the eyes that remember.” 

Rachel examined the cloth closer. It was dirty. She smelled it. “Blue cheese. The troll?”

Nicole concurred. “That, I am almost positive, is the shirt Randy Nedley was wearing the day he left Purgatory. Was supposed to leave Purgatory.” She swallowed before saying, “I think the troll killed Nedley.”  
_____

“Wynonna, I wish I had listened to you and taken Waverly to Austin for tacos.” Nicole was sitting on the stairs in the middle of the forest, talking to herself aloud. It was Christmas, and she was missing the Earps with a vengeance today. 

She continued to come despite the fact that absolutely nothing had changed from the very first time she crutched out all those months ago. Sometimes she climbed the stairs and sat under the arch. Other times she’d just sit on the bottom step. Every time she went, she held the belief that they may be able to hear her through the door, even if no door could be seen.

“Did you find Waverly? Have you decided to kick Doc out of the gang and now you’re lost? I hope where you are doesn’t get cold. Who am I kidding? It’s the frickin’ garden of Eden! I can just see you in the height of fashion, sporting your own fig leaf bikini.” Nicole huffed at her own joke, but there were unshed tears in her eyes. 

“You really Earped this up, you know. You should be home by now.” Nicole threw an empty accusation at her best friend. 

“Then again, who am I to blame you? I’ve walked these woods countless times and am no closer to helping you get back. Not to mention I still can’t find peacemaker.” The tears were freely falling down Nicole’s face now.

“Ok, I’m gonna go home and drink the whiskey that I wrapped for you. It is waiting under the tree, so join me if you want! Just so you know, I will not be playing any drinking game with you. You cheat.” Nicole wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up.

Her leg was about 75% healed at this time. PT had done wonders. At this point there was an annoying dull ache when she pushed herself. She often pushed herself to that point because it reminded her she was trying to get the Earps and Doc back. For that reason, she still had her walking sticks. She had snowshoed out to the stairs today, and despite the snow, she had hiked to this spot so many times by now she could do it in under 15 minutes, at least half the time it originally took her.

Nicole was thoroughly warmed up by the time she made it back to the cruiser. After tossing her gear into the trunk, she drove through town. Purgatory was quiet; it seemed everyone wanted to just enjoy the holiday at home with family or friends.

Since town was under control, she headed back to the homestead. She did a quick trap check. Nothing. Thank goodness for Christmas Miracles. 

Back inside, Nicole admired the Christmas tree Rachel had insisted on putting up.

_Rachel had gone through the storage and found several Christmas boxes. She chuckled at the angel made of tampons, and when she heard the story of the menstr-angel, it absolutely had to grace the top of the tree. She was constantly amazed how cray cray these Earp sisters were._

_There was some red paint from some old Christmas project in one box, so Rachel painted the “Chez” in the hallway above Valdez darker so it stood out prominently. Rachel then took one strand of lights and framed “Chez Valdez” with them. They both loved it._

Nicole sat next to Rachel by the fire. “The place looks great. Christmas is my favorite.”

Rachel smiled, glad she could bring joy to her friend’s life. “It was fun to do. Mom and I travelled so much we didn’t really do Christmas like this. Wanna exchange gifts?” 

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s grab them.” Nicole grabbed her gift to Rachel, eying the other two gifts she had placed under the tree for the Earp Sisters. She quickly turned her attention back to Rachel, who was carrying a present about a meter long wrapped in candy cane striped paper.

Nicole had found a mug for Rachel. It had three checkboxes on one side: Naughty and Nice were unchecked; The final box was checked next to “I swear Santa I tried.” Rachel loved it, promising to add it to her collection.

Rachel was excited to share her gift. “I found it when I was scavenging,” she explained. She handed the present to Nicole. 

Nicole ripped into the paper. Inside were two large wooden black utensils, a spoon and a fork. Written in cursive on the spoon it said, “Bless This Hot Mess.”

“Really, Rachel?” Nicole said. A small smile creeped across her face.

“If you mean, ‘Really, Rachel? This is exactly what I wanted!’ then yes.” Rachel was smiling with the fact she had made Nicole smile. Rachel counted it a good day if she saw her smile.

“Thank you. It’s perfect. We’ll hang it in the kitchen, Wynonna will get a kick out of it.” At the mention of Wynonna’s name, the smile faded.

Rachel walked over and gave Nicole a hug, which she reciprocated. They wished each other a “Merry Christmas.” Then Rachel asked, “Hey Nicole, do you think it’d be okay if I headed to the rec center? They’re hosting this stupid event, but some kids my age said they’d be there.”

“Sure. Take the truck, and be safe!” Nicole replied. 

“Yes! Bonus! Thanks, Nicole! I’ll be home before dark.” Rachel grabbed her coat and headed out the door.

Nicole took her phone out to check for messages or missed calls. Nothing. She called her friends, none of who answered, and wished them all Merry Christmas in her message. She tossed her phone down in defeat.

The house suddenly seemed too quiet. Nicole turned on some Christmas music and grabbed her journal.

_9 months, 1 week, 2 days._

_Merry Christmas, baby. All I want for Christmas is you. I know that is cheesy as hell, but it’s true.  
I walked to the stairs, no change.  
Trap check, no change.  
I’m drinking your gift, Wynonna. It’s your own fault.  
______

When Rachel returned, Nicole was pretty drunk, dancing to Christmas tunes, dressed in an Elf costume.

“Raaaachel! Welcome back! Shhhhh. Don’t tell WyNOnna, “Nicole pressed a finger to Rachel’s lips,” but I went ahead and opened her whiskey,” and chuckled.

“Okay, Nicole. Secret’s safe with me!” Rachel replied. She had seen the redhead passed out a couple times, but this was next level.

“Wynonnnna only drinks the good stuff.” Nicole thought for a second. “No! Scratch that. She drinks whatever whiskey is hhhhhanded to her.”

“She is my best friend, and it is my responsibility to drink in her honor. I’m supposed to drink responsibly.” Nicole nodded her head in affirmation of her own statement.

“Did you know she roofied her team and took Waverly away from me?” Nicole’s bottom lip quivered for a second. Rachel watched Nicole’s face run a gamut of emotion from near tears, to a frown of thinking, to a light bulb going off. 

“I know what I’m going to do to Wynonna when she gets back! I am going to arresssst her for ‘Affliction, um… infection… no, affection, no.” She shook her head in an attempt to clear the cobwebs. “Infliction of bodily harm’. Then I’m gonna throw her ass in jail. Yep!” Nicole then took another drink from the bottle.

When she tilted the bottle back, she lost her balance, but Rachel was able to steady her enough to aim her down towards the couch.

“I wishhh you were old enough to drink. That reminds me!” Nicole thought about her words for a moment. In her most commanding a voice as she could muster being as drunk as she was, she told Rachel, “Don’t drink and drive. That is bad.” 

“Excellent advice.” Rachel laughed quietly.

“I got Waverly a gift too. It’s a kit to turn her jeep seat into a heated seat. She always gets cold.” Nicole stopped talking and her gaze softened at the mention of Waverly. ”It sure would be a nice Christmas gift for her to come home.” Nicole said quietly. 

“I know, Nicole. I want them to come home, too.” Rachel saw her friend starting to drift into memories, probably unpleasant memories. She decided to change the subject.

“Hey I’m gonna grab a drink from the kitchen. Need some water? I hear water helps.” Rachel walked to the kitchen backwards, maintaining eye contact with Nicole.  
“Ohhhh… yesssss! Water sounds sooooo good right now!” Nicole slurred out.

Rachel quickly checked some of her brewing jars on the countertop. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she filled two glasses with water from the kitchen sink and returned to the living room. In the short time she was gone, Nicole had fallen asleep. Or passed out. But that wasn’t for Rachel to decide.

Rachel grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over the elf. She turned down the music so it was in the background. “I know you won’t remember this in the morning, but I have one more gift for you. It’s a promise. I promise you I will stay, as long as you need me. I promise you’re not alone.”

Nicole’s head lolled from one side to the other, then she began softly snoring.

“Merry Christmas, friend.” Rachel sat on the couch next to Nicole and pulled the blanket over the both of them. Eventually she also dozed off, Christmas music still playing in the background.  
______

The door to the sheriff’s office was opened by two burly men, one sporting a lumberjack’s beard, the other a receding hairline. The Valentine’s Day hearts swung sadly with the motion. A brunette dressed in a bright red pantsuit entered. “We are in definite need of a remodel. It is so drab in here!”

“Excuse me,” Nicole stated with authority. “This is an official place of business. Please return to the other side of the counter and let’s see how we can help you.”

“Powerful! I like it. I can see how the ladies would swoon with that kind of authority. But I don’t lean that way. I am here for my first day of work, thank you very much!” the brunette countered.

“And you are?” Nicole asked.

“Cleo Starr. Sounds like a porn name, right? Some girls are born lucky!” Cleo sauntered in, arms out, taking up more space than necessary by holding her arms out to the side.

"Listen here fire crotch, it’s starting to turn into the old west in Purgatory. Lucky for you, I am the new magistrate. I’m here to bring the order to law and order. It is a new year, filled with possibilities!” She pushed her way past Nicole, brushing her shoulder against Nicole’s arm. “And my first order of business is to hold an election for sheriff.”

Nicole cannot help the fact that her jaw is hanging open. This was too surreal, even for Purgatory.

“That’s right, ginger cop! Mommy is starting at the top to clean up this town. Let’s just see who this town likes better. A cop who can barely keep her own Homestead safe, or my selection for sheriff, Mr. Holt Claiborne!”

“You don’t have the right to…” Nicole started.

“Oh, but I do. It says so right on this court order signed by the judge I screwed. Men, am I right? They’ll do just about anything when you spread your legs. But, it is legal. Better start cleaning out your desk.” Cleo handed Nicole the letter. It was an official order, signed legally. 

Nicole was speechless. She was also fuming. She had been working her butt off, with no help from the state or the new GRT border patrol. 

The citizens of purgatory were getting anxious with the increased demon activity, and made even more anxious by the fact that everyone was now acknowledging and talking about it OUT LOUD. Forbidden words like ‘supernatural’ and ‘demon’ were now part of the lexicon. Too many big transitions in too little time. She missed Wynonna and Peacemaker now more than ever. 

Over a thick tongue that seemed to be glued to the top of her mouth, Nicole said, “Welcome to the Purgatory Sheriff’s Department. I can show you-“  
She was cut off by the mouthy brunette, “I’ll just help myself to the place. This room will do nicely for my office,” and she entered what had been the BBD office.

Nicole was gobsmacked. She sat down hard into her chair behind her desk. The whirlwind of the last five minutes replayed in her head. A new magistrate? An election? Ugh. Nicole hated campaigning. At least last time she had Waverly’s support. 

Waverly. Her bones ached for her. Where was she? She suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion. She grabbed her jacket and headed out the door. She needed fresh air. She jumped into a patrol car and let the pain of missing Waverly wash over her. She couldn’t even cry. She just felt... numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if kombucha smells bad or at all. If Waverly, Miss Vegan, wasn’t excited to put it in her body, that is good enough for me! (Mmmm. mIcrobessss...)


	5. The lights go out and I can't be saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I added a chapter. Apparently Nicole hadn't suffered enough in 6 chapters. Just remember, we know how it ends!

Nicole woke from a dreamless sleep. If you could call it sleep. She would drift off, only to wake up an hour or two later. All through the night. This election was weighing on her, as if she needed another load to carry. She had already been failing at finding a way to get her friends back from the garden. She couldn’t find peacemaker. She had lost her mentor - no - father figure Randy. Why not lose the last thing she was good at - sheriff.

Nicole glanced at the clock. 5:30 am. She gave up on trying to go back to sleep again. She stood from the bed and slipped into her shoes left next to the bed, ready to go in a moments notice last night. She trudged to the bathroom, a limp barely visible. Once she worked out the stiffness you’d barely be able to tell she had broken her leg. 

The red head looked in the mirror, and was surprised at the image looking back at her. Her hair had grown out past her shoulders, and her eyes looked empty. _This is what failure looks like,_ Nicole thought to herself. She would have to remind herself to not look in the mirror again.

Nicole donned a jacket and beanie to do a morning trap check. They had built 10 around the property, easily a 10 minute walk to see them all. Finding nothing, she returned to the house and made a cup of coffee. She made a quick journal entry. 

_12 months. I can’t believe you’ve been gone a year._

_I’ve searched the woods clear out to the trappers house. I’ve checked the mines. I’ve searched Grizzly Creek. I even went to the Shelterlands Music Festival Memorial site, and you know how much I don’t like it there. I’ve been to the stairs almost daily. I don’t know where else to look._

Though it felt useless, she decided to get in her patrol car and head to town.  
_____

Holt Claiborne had become a regular at Shorty’s. He never had more than a beer. If an argument would begin, he’d saunter over and bring peace, usually with a guffaw and a back slap. He rubbed elbows with the old geezers and shot pool with the boys. He flirted with the waitresses. In general, he was well liked.

Well liked by everyone except Nicole. The meetings were always cold between the two. Nicole did not trust him. His complements were always backhanded and there always seemed to be a lingering threat underlying everything he said.

Nicole had entered his name into the sheriff’s database the previous week. The information gathered was so vague it could’ve been a fake I.D. Graduated from a school in the north where the population was sparse. Joined the police academy, graduated, worked a couple years in his hometown as a deputy, then moved to Purgatory. 

Nicole contacted the station in the north, but it was a completely new staff, no one remembered Holt. The paperwork was in order, showing he had worked there in the past. It was suspicious at best. However, she had nothing to go on good or bad. Infuriating.

When it was announced that there would be an election for sheriff and Holt‘s name was presented by Cleo herself, Nicole worried. She was a good sheriff. She was honest and fair. The drunks liked her because she gave them a blanket in the drunk tank. Parents liked her because if their kids were making bad choices, she tried to give them opportunities to avoid issues in the future. 

Unfortunately, it was an old west town with old west values. She was doing ‘a man’s job.’ More than that, she was an outsider with a progressive code of behavior. An unfortunate mix. 

Nicole was leaving her patrol car to head into the sheriff’s station. Coming towards her was none other than Holt Claiborne. 

“Officer Haught.” Holt greeted. 

“Mr. Claiborne.” Haught gritted her teeth at the thought of having a conversation with him.

“How’s your campaign going? Haven’t heard much from your election team. Oh, sorry. Your team isn’t here.” Holt went right for the jugular today.

“Worry about yourself, I’ve got a job to do.” Nicole saved no pleasantries for him.

“Of course,” Holt smiled. “Wouldn’t want to get in the way of you protecting the good citizens of Purgatory. And, of course, you have a teenager under your protection. That’s all... legal, isn’t it?”

Nicole would listen no more. “Have a good day, Mr. Claiborne.”  
______

Nicole was sure she was going crazy. Sleep eluded her as she lay down recalling the events of the day. 

_12 months, 4 days_

_I swear I saw Waverly._

Nicole was on her morning trap check around the homestead. She had just come around the side of the barn when she saw movement. Something was turning the corner on the other of the barn. She knows she saw light brown hair, pulled up in a half ponytail just like Waverly liked to wear it. She was wearing light pink colored pants and a white jacket. 

She had seen Waverly in that outfit before. The outfit was burned into her memory as the one she last saw her in, sitting on the front porch. When she proposed. 

Nicole ran around the side of the barn but saw nothing. She continued running to the front yard. Nothing. _Must’ve been the play of the light,_ Nicole thought.

The figure bothered her the rest of the morning. Then as she was shopping for some groceries, she saw it again. Nicole came around the corner or the aisle, and at the other end of the aisle, the same figure. Light brown hair, up in a half ponytail, white jacket, light pink pants.

“Waves!” Nicole yelled out. She didn’t stop. Dropping her shopping basket, she ran to the end of the aisle and nearly knocked over a local, Kyle York.

Nicole grabbed him by the arms to steady the both of them. “I’m so sorry Kyle! I was trying to catch up with Waverly. Did you see her? She just came out of this aisle.” Nicole rushed out.

“Sorry sheriff, I didn’t see anyone come out of the aisle.” Kyle stated, looking at Nicole as if she had lost her mind.

“Oh, ok.” Nicole hesitated, wanting to ask again to be sure, but the look on Kyle’s face deterred her. “I must’ve imagined it.”

The sheriff walked back to her basket, turning a couple times to look back the way she came. She only saw Kyle looking at her, confused at the interaction.  
Nicole made an unnecessary trip along the front of the aisles, looking up each one to see if she could spot the elusive Waverly. Having no luck, she headed for the checkout and paid for her groceries. As she exited the store, she ran into someone for the second time in one day. She looked up to apologize, and then saw who it was.

“Holt,” Nicole grunted out. 

“Sheriff Haught,” Holt smiled back at her. “Beautiful day, isn’t it? Or haven’t you noticed because you’re busy lookin’ for something?”

Nicole ignored him, and continued walking towards her patrol car.

“I see. No time to talk with the good people of Purgatory.”

Nicole stopped. She turned to the tall man with a 12 o’clock shadow. “I have all the time in the world for the good people of Purgatory. You? Not so much.” 

“Now now, sheriff Haught. No need to start judging. I’m simply a guy who wants to bring peace. You could call me... a peacemaker if you will.” Holt sneered at Nicole, knowing she would get the implication. 

Nicole squinted at the man suspiciously. “And what do you know about being a peacemaker?” 

“Well I know I’m more dependable than a bluntline, and a hell of a lot more reliable than any man, or woman, who would wield such a weapon.”

Nicole didn’t honor him with a reply. She turned and continued into the parking lot. The quicker she could get away from Holt Claiborne, the better. She was happy when the day came to an end.  
_____

There was no rhyme or reason to how the election for sheriff took place. Elections were usually held the second Tuesday of November, months away. Cleo had mandated it to take place ASAP. She had pulled out all the stops for the counting of the election ballots. A big party was to be held in the town square, “proving transparency by counting votes in front of the people,” she had said. She was calling the event the Ballot Bonanza!

So Nicole found herself downtown, in the town square, patrolling the crowds. She wanted to make sure it didn’t get unruly. _Purgatory is so desperate for entertainment they are partying for voting. This is more unusual than a supernatural sighting,_ Nicole thought.

Nicole walked along the outskirts of the square, stopping to chat every once in a while with a Purgatorian. While talking with a waiter from Shorty’s, the crowds opened up and she saw her again. Waverly.

Nicole excused herself and started walking towards where Waverly was. Waverly began walking away from her. Nicole sped up as the crowd shifted and closed again. By the time she got to where she last saw Waverly, she was gone.

At the same time, Cleo had taken to the speaker platform erected in the middle of town square. “Welcome fellow citizens to the Purgatory Ballot Bonanza! ”

A scattering of applause broke out. Cleo continued, “As the new magistrate to the fine town of Purgatory, it is my duty to provide the citizens with the fairest representation of the law I could. And an election was required to make sure that was given to you!”

Nicole scanned the crowd as per her habit, especially since seeing Waverly earlier. And there she was, standing closer to the platform, her back towards Nicole.

“Waves.” Nicole whispered. She started to the stage.

Cleo loved the attention and began swaying her hips to the captive crowd. “And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Who will it be? The stunningly capable gentleman who was born with a white stetson on his head,” she motions to Holt, standing off to the left of the stage, wearing a white stetson, “or the current sheriff ginger Nicole Haught.”

Nicole was moving towards Waverly, who suddenly started to move away from the stage. Desperate, Nicole yelled out, “Waverly! Wait!”  
The townspeople looked at Nicole and to where she was looking. Since most of the town knew Waverly, they were shocked to hear Nicole yelling for her but not seeing any Waverly. A murmur arose from the crowd, pointing to Nicole, unsure if she needed help or not.

“Waves!” Nicole yelled once more. She asked a few people from the crowd who were standing next to where Waverly was. “Did you see which direction Waverly went? White jacket, pink pants.”

The crowd she addressed all shook their head in the negative. They all looked at each other, all sure Waverly wasn’t in attendance, then back to Nicole. They were torn, wanting to see Waverly, who they hadn’t seen since before the evacuation, and listen to the election results from the stage.

Cleo was miffed at the interruption. She looked at Nicole and asked, “Are you quite done? I am trying to announce the winner of the election of Sheriff of Purgatory here! The whole reason for a Ballot Bonanza is to have a winner!”

“Sorry, I…” Nicole started but couldn’t finish. She continued to survey the area she last saw Waverly.

Cleo cleared her throat and stepped closer to the microphone. “This year’s winner in the election of sheriff of Purgatory is, Holt Claiborne!”

There was a surprising amount of whooping and hollering from the crowd. Cleo had stepped away from the mic, but she cried out her congratulations to Holt, saying, “Way to go Holt! You whipped that crazy ginger bitch!”

Several people laughed at the opinion, some others began repeating it. Nicole stopped looking around at the crowd for Waverly to comprehend the results of the election. 

She was no longer sheriff. 

Nicole had a dazed look in her eyes. Waverly wasn’t there. And the town had voted her out. She turned towards the police station and began retreating there out of habit. 

The station. Nicole’s refuge, her safe space. Where she had worked with and learned from Nedley. Where she learned about the supernatural in town. Where she fought and bonded with Wynonna. Where she had first kissed Waverly.

In one moment the place shifted from her sanctuary to just a municipal building. It was too much. She reverently placed her badge on her desk, and turned to walk away from the last thing she loved in this town.

_13 months, 1 week, 3 days._

_You can change my title from Sheriff Haught to that crazy ginger bitch._  
_____

Nicole had no idea what to do with her time. She tried to catch up on sleep, but sleep eluded her. It was becoming more the norm that she considered a couple hours of sleep at night “a good night.”

She checked the traps, but everything was in order. She had no desire to go to town. She wanted to be alone, alone with Waverly. So she headed towards the stairs.

The red head was about a football field’s distance from where the stairs were when they came into view. They looked the same as always. As a tree passed between her and the stairs, she caught a glimpse of someone at the top of the stairs, in the arch. Nicole’s heart skipped a beat. The person was wearing a white jacket, and light pink-colored pants. _Waverly._

Not trusting herself, Nicole kept her eyes on the stairs. Trees and brambles  
blocked a clear view, but once past the obstructions, she still saw her. Waverly.

Halfway there from when she first saw her, Nicole picked up speed. She began trembling with anticipation as she neared the stairs. Branches scratched her arms and legs as she ran, but Nicole kept her eyes on the top of the stairs. “Waverly!” She yelled. Waverly turned, but before she saw her face, she rounded a final bush, and the figure was gone.

Nicole was beside herself. She put her hands on the top of her head in disbelief. Her whole body suddenly felt heavy, and she dropped to her knees. Her arms fell limply to her sides. She let out a painful, gut-wrenching scream. “Waverly!” She wailed. She sat there, in the middle of the forest, at the bottom of a supernatural staircase. Nicole poured out all her grief, all her frustration, all her pain over wanting something, one thing, one person more than anything else. The one thing she may never have again. 

When Nicole composed herself, she searched the area again. She climbed the stairs to see if there were any signs of Waverly’s presence moments ago. There weren’t. She circled the stairs to see if anyone had been there besides her. Nothing. She kept looking back to the top of the stairs in case Waverly reappeared. She didn’t. 

Heavily, she trudged back to the truck. Somehow she arrived at the homestead. She couldn’t recall one moment of the drive. 

She never returned to the stairs again.  
_____

Someone was calling Nicole. Her phone rarely rang, and when it did her heart always beat faster, wanting it to be an Earp. She picked it up, and was surprised to see “JerBer” on the screen. 

Nicole answered the phone immediately. “Jeremy!” She was so happy to hear a familiar voice she forgot for a second how mad she was at him. “How have you been, stranger?” 

“Hey, Nicole!” Jeremy said affectionately. “Good, good. I’ve missed you, so I thought I’d call.”

“It’s good to hear your voice.” Nicole said. 

“How is Purgatory?” Jeremy asked.

“Still demon central. Except now the people are acknowledging it, so that is weird.” Nicole reported. “Rachel and I moved to the homestead when town started getting crazy and someone broke into the homestead.”

“Rachel?” 

“Rachel. She’s... it’s a long story. Let’s just say when Wynonna disappeared into the portal to the garden and she-“

Jeremy interrupted. “Gloria Valdez’ daughter? I know her. Well, know of her. BBD is, well, was a small community of brilliant scientists. Everybody kinda knew everyone. I met her at a summer BBD BBQ.”

Nicole relaxed on the couch. “Do you still keep in touch with BBD? - wait! How is Robin?”

Jeremy’s voice went tight. “He’s, uh, he’s safe.” 

Nicole sat upright. “Safe? What do you mean? When was he not safe?”

“Well, we were all loaded onto trains and were taken to this temporary tent city in the middle of nowhere. Even more nowhere than the ghost river triangle.” Jeremy stopped to take a slow breath.

“That night he started having stomach pains. Actually, several of the townspeople who had been kidnapped by Bulshar were having stomach pains. The people in charge took us to their medical facility, which was actually an old BBD warehouse.”

“What did they find?” Nicole asked apprehensively. 

“Do you remember the potato incident?” Jeremy questioned and continued without interruption. “Of course you remember the potato incident. Who can forget a half-naked Adonis who licked a potato? When Robin and the other locals were abducted, the beekeepers did something to them. They implanted a seed of some sort into their bodies. Well, that seed opened, and began to take root in his body.”

Nicole’s mouth hung open at this. “Were they able to take it out?”

“It had begun to grow into some vital organs. They had him in a medically induced coma for months. They slowly killed off the growth, and then they woke him up. It took a lot out of him. But he’s safe.” Jeremy concluded with a sigh. 

Nicole collapsed back into her seat. “Are you ok?” She asked Jeremy. 

Jeremy took a deep breath and let it out. “I’ve been working to keep him safe, and Purgatory safe. I can’t share much because it’s classified.” 

Nicole scoffed. Jeremy continued, “Seriously. As soon as I can tell you I will. You aren’t in danger, that I can assure you.”

“Not in danger? Jeremy, there are demons living in Purgatory! There are monsters trying daily to get into the Earp homestead!” Nicole lifted her free hand in disbelief and dropped it back onto the arm of the couch. “I haven’t had a day that was NOT filled with danger since the Earps left. And that’s saying something, because when they were here it was a total shitshow.”

Jeremy used a comforting voice. “And you’re doing a great job. Keep going. The studies done in the garden are sealed, but rumor has it people did go into the portal and come back.” 

“When? It’s been over a year. A year! I’m not the sheriff anymore. I can’t sleep. I’m exhausted. I need help, your help.” Nicole was starting to shake as all the emotions washed over her. 

“I know. I wish I could help more but I have to keep Robin safe. Any news I get on the garden I will pass on to you. Ok?” Jeremy tried to reassure his friend. 

“No! It’s not ok! It’s not enough! What if Waverly’s in trouble? What if Wynonna never found her and Doc? What if... what if I never see her again? What am I going to do?” Nicole started to cry.

Jeremy was never very good at feelings, and hated hearing his friend in pain. He understood the pain. Waiting to see if Robin would pull out of the coma as his Robin was torture. He did the best he could, but had little to offer in words of comfort. He said, “I promise you I’m working on it on my end. You have to stay strong. Something will happen soon.” 

Soon. Nicole didn’t believe him.

Nicole was feeling Jeremy had nothing more to add, so she made up an excuse to end the call. “Sorry to cut this short, but Rachel needs my help with something. I should go lend a hand.”

“Yeah. I totally understand. I gotta run, too. Busy sciency stuff going on... I’ll call with any news I get, ok?” Jeremy added.

Nicole answered, “You better. Not only am I being ghosted by my girlfriend, I’ve been ghosted by our gay BFF. Don’t be such a stranger. Return a text every once in a while.”

Jeremy sighed sadly. “Sure. I’ll do the best I can.

Nicole hung up the phone and got up from the couch. She walked the loop from the living room through the kitchen, and back to the living room through the hallway. Around and around she went countless times. She was processing Jeremys call. The more she thought, the sadder she became. Finally, she sat in a chair by the fireplace and grabbed her journal. 

_14 months, 1 week, 2 days_

_Spoke to Jeremy. He provided information on Robin._  
She wrote all the details she could remember.  
_Add this to the list of things I failed at._  
_____

Nicole had no idea how she ended up at Shorty’s. She hadn’t been to town for nearly 2 months. She thought she had some groceries to buy, but when she got to town, she couldn’t remember what she needed. She was tired and didn’t feel like driving anymore. Why she chose Shorty’s… clueless.

Nicole entered the bar and pulled her cap down in an effort to hide her face. She wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. It was a late summer afternoon, and the town all seemed to want to enjoy a beer. The bar was surrounded, every stool occupied. As she walked to the bar to place her order, an odd thought struck her, _my leg doesn’t hurt._ At least her leg healed.

Beer in hand, Nicole looked to the right to see if a table or booth was open. She saw one and headed that way. A white jacket caught her eye. Light pink pants. Cute half ponytail on top of her head. Waverly.

Nicole’s hand holding the beer began to drop down. The glass tipped too far and the contents started spilling out. She was unaware of the action, all she knew was she wouldn’t miss this opportunity. She ran, splashing patrons with her beer, and pulled up short when she reached the woman.

And now, there was Waverly, barely an arms length away. Nicole said, “Waverly,” and reached for her girlfriend. As she did this, Waverly’s body gently shimmered, as if Nicole had touched the surface of a still pond creating circular waves, bending the light and distorting the reflection. 

When Waverly came back into focus, it wasn’t Waverly at all. An older woman, perhaps in her mid- to late 50‘s remained. Her hair was dirty blonde and unmemorable, not brown with a cute half ponytail on top. She wore a beige jacket and tan jeans, not white and light pink. 

Nicole apologized to the woman and began to back away. The woman turned and met Nicole’s eyes. “Are you ok, Nicole? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“How do you know my name?” Nicole asked, distressed at what she had just witnessed.

“I know all kinds of things. I know you are trying to save your princess. I’m flattered, you thought the princess was me?” The woman chuckled without humor.

“Who are you?” Nicole asked, her heart beating so hard she thought it could beat right out of her shirt. 

“I’m someone with a particular skill set that you might benefit from. But you can call me Margo. Margo-Jean Clanton.” she grinned.

“You’re a demon.” Nicole said. She was breathing quickly and feared passing out. 

“No, I’m merely a witch with shared interests. You might even say, we want the same thing.” The older woman sneered. 

Nicole became defensive. “Stay away from Waverly.”

Margo laughed quietly. “Well, we want almost the same thing.”

“Stay away from me,” Nicole had raised her voice. Patrons nearby turned toward them.

“I didn’t seek you out, You followed me, sheriff. Oops, my mistake. Nicole.“ Margo taunted.

“Stay away from me,” Nicole yelled.

“You know, I have been known to find people and bring them home. Those with a… supernatural bent.” Margo whispered.

Nicole’s eyes grew large, and she began to slowly back away.

“Come see me when you’re ready.” Margo gave a small wave and turned away from the receding Nicole.

She was turning to exit when Cleo and Holt entered the building.

“Good evening fellow citizens of Purgatory,” Cleo addressed the crowd with a bullhorn in hand. “I have a very important mandate to announce, and sheriff Claiborne here is going to help me.”

Holt stood behind Cleo, hands at his waist, stance wide. White stetson pulled low to the brim of his eyebrows. Intimidating.

“I promised to help clean up this town. And unfortunately the effects of alcohol are leading to so many poor decisions and poorer fashion choices. Sheriff Holt here is spending way too much of his precious time hauling your drunk bums to jail he has no time to protect us good, law-abiding citizens.”

Cleo held up a piece of paper. “I’m not going to read this to you because it is full of legal mumbo jumbo. So let me sum it up for you: Purgatory is now a dry town.”

The patrons in the bar cannot believe what they just heard. Mumblings that this is a joke, this can’t be, no one voted on it and it has to be a ballot measure so the voice of the people could be heard.

Holt cleared his throat. “Now, I understand many of you are upset at this. I assure you the transition will be seamless, and the benefits will far outweigh the cost of giving up drink.”

Nicole had decided she heard enough. She quietly set down her beer on a table half empty, and she hadn’t even taken a single sip. While the patrons were attracting the sheriff and magistrate’s attention, Nicole slipped through the door unnoticed.


	6. You’ve put me down upon my knees, oh I beg, I beg and plead

Rachel had one of her best days in Purgatory. 

The town had been on edge for the past few weeks, since Cleo had deemed Purgatory dry. Rachel thought this to be a questionable decision. Shorty’s was extremely popular mostly because of the booze. Now, it was a juice bar. But Rachel did see an opportunity. She had an idea, er, brewing. 

Chrissy Nedley was the new proprietor of Shorty’s Juice Bar. Rachel had been inside, curious what the bar looked like on the inside now that she could go in. She checked out the menu, and thought her kombucha would be a good addition. So she had given Chrissy a sample. It was such a hit she placed an order for a weekly delivery.

They just needed to iron out the final details. While she was waiting for Chrissy to finish up with some patrons, Rachel overheard a couple of people talking about a new bar that had opened over on Horsehead Trail. It was named YOL. _Weird name for a bar,_ she thought. They lowered their voice, making it difficult to eavesdrop, and all Rachel could hear was “liquor” and “demons”. She’d have to share that with Nicole when she got home.

Rachel still enjoyed being a scavenger. She’d find tools, supplies, glass jugs for her brewing, and clothes. While toting an old shovel she had found, a man stopped and asked her if she was interested in selling said shovel. So she was profiting from some sales as well! And sometimes she’d find a mug worthy of her collection. 

While out and about today, Rachel ran into another scavenger named Billy. He was cute with his shaggy brown hair. It was styled to look like he was trying out for the next k-pop boy band. Billy had found some spurs and showed them off for Rachel.

Rachel laughed at the way he sauntered across the grass in the town park. “Ok, Billy the Kid. Just don’t arrest me for laughing at you in public!”

“No, ma’am. I’ll kindly escort you across the park, then take my leave.” Billy drawled.

“How very proper and chivalrous of you. You’d go far in the Wild West.” Rachel smiled.

When they parted a couple hours later, plans had been made to compare finds later in the week. Rachel was thrilled Billy wanted to meet again.

Then on her walk home from town, Rachel found a crossbow. A crossbow! It was sitting in the woods, as if someone had dropped it. The weapon looked like it had been there all summer.

Rachel wanted to see if it worked. There was a quiver of arrows attached to the base and she pulled one out. She loaded the arrow into where she thought it went. Not sure how it worked, she quickly pulled up a YouTube video on how to load and fire a crossbow. _You really can learn how to do anything on YouTube,_ she thought. _And you need lube. Wynonna would be ecstatic._

It took a few tries, but eventually Rachel got the bow cocked and ready to go. Once loaded, Rachel aimed it at a tree and fired. The ssss-thwack of the arrow burying itself in the tree was such a satisfying sound! She couldn’t wait to show Nicole. Maybe it would make her smile.  
_____

Rachel arrived home late afternoon. Home. She had begun thinking of the homestead as home, and held a tiny hope that was okay. She headed into kitchen. Nicole sat at the table not moving. Immediately Rachel could tell Nicole was having a tough day. There were bags under the redhead’s eyes. She held a spoon over her soup, which looked like it had gone cold. “Hey, Nicole,” Rachel sang. 

Nicole did not move. Rachel tried again, a little louder. “Hey, Nicole! I’m home!” And the redhead flinched. 

Nicole blinked several times, looked down at what she had been doing and set her spoon down. “Hey, Rachel,” she murmured. 

Rachel sighed, seeing her friend so distraught. “How’s your day going?”

“All right” Nicole said unconvincingly. She picked up her bowl and emptied the contents in the trash. At the sink she slowly cleaned the bowl and the spoon. 

“Well, your day is about to get all kinds of better, because you will not believe the day I’ve had!” Rachel paused for dramatic effect.

“I’m waiting with bated breath,” Nicole said to humor Rachel.

“You are looking at the newest contract employee to Shorty’s Juice bar!” Rachel almost squealed.

“You’re going to be a waitress at a juice bar? Wait, Shorty’s is now a juice bar? Lead with that next time!” Nicole threw her hands up in the air.

“No, not a waitress. I have a contract with them. For my kombucha! I dropped some by last week and the people loved it!” Rachel was bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement.

Nicole’s mouth hung open. “You mean to tell me people are going to pay you for that?”

“I know, right?” Rachel was pleased with herself. 

“I didn’t know Shorty for long, but I guarantee he is rolling over in his grave right now.” 

“I’m going to have to get a supply line in place. And you’re going to help me pick out a name. My short list is currently Scoby Dooby Do, or Booch Please. What do you think?” She didn’t give Nicole time to reply and continued, “Maybe I should imply that it works as a demon deterrent.” Rachel was giddy with excitement on her newest venture. 

“I’d only worry about the false advertising part of that claim. And you have to name it Booch Please.” Nicole said. Her lips curved up in a smile, but it did not reach her eyes.

“That’s what my new friend thought too.” Rachel nearly cooed.

“New friend?” Nicole inquired.

“It’s nothing. Some person I met scavenging. Anyway.” Rachel changed the subject quickly, not wanting to share more of Billy yet. “In other news from town,” and she gave Nicole the news about the new bar.

“I am not surprised. I wonder if making Purgatory dry has increased or decreased Holt’s workload.” Nicole thought aloud. Then sadly, “not that it’s any of my concern anymore.”

“And finally, for my submission for the award ‘Best Find Ever,’ I present to you my new sidekick!” Rachel ran to the living room and brought back the crossbow.

“Wow,” Nicole held it and looked it over. “It’s a little weatherbeaten, but it should clean up nice. You know how to shoot this thing, Buffy?”

“Sure. I watched a video.” Rachel said smartly. “Do you?”

“Not really. Care to show me?” 

“Yeah! Let’s go!” And the women headed outside to their makeshift shooting range.

_15 months, 2weeks, 5 days_

_Rachel aka Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a businesswoman now.  
A new speakeasy opened just outside town on Horsehead Trail. Doc would approve  
“Lady with a fancy car name” works there. Presumably Mercedes Gardner.  
Bar named YOL - The Way. I wonder if anyone there would have The Way to find you._  
_____

Nicole was not sleeping. More often she’d found herself awake all night, surprised by the sunrise. She’d tried to sleep in the barn and various places throughout the homestead. She had been having the most success up in Waverly’s room, which was where she was tonight. She was laying in bed, actually drifting to sleep. She must’ve been dreaming because she heard Waverly’s voice. 

_It’s Nicole. Nicole Haught._

“Waverly?” she mumbled.

_She’s the sheriff with the red hair.  
Brown eyes._

She wasn’t dreaming. She wasn’t imagining it. It felt too real. It was Waverly’s voice! She called a little louder this time. “Waverly?”

_Stetson._

“Waverly, where are you? I’m right here!” Thinking she was downstairs she ran towards the front of the house.

_Nicole Haught. Nicole Haught._

“Waverly! I’m right here! I’m waiting for you!” She ran into the kitchen.

_The red hair, the brown eyes._

She turned to head into Wynonna’s room, and on her way she ran right into a box of ammo, a direct hit on her now 16 month old incision. Sure, it had fully healed, but damn that hurt, and she dropped immediately to the floor and grabbed her left leg, screaming in pain.

“Waverly!” Her plea was met with silence. 

Nicole began crying. She cried from the pain. She would say it was her leg, but she knew her heart was broken and it would probably never heal. She needed Waverly. Waverly was her reason to live. 

Nicole lay on the floor for almost an hour. She had stopped crying, but couldn’t find it in her to move. She assessed her leg. It was already showing some discoloration and swelling. She was sure it was going to result in a big ugly bruise.

Nicole limped to the freezer for an ice pack. She hated tending to her wounds. She hated icing. She was tired of hurting all the time. She was tired.

_16 months, 5 days._

_Yesterday I heard your voice, but I couldn’t find you. Then again, maybe it was my imagination. Even my subconscious is betraying me.  
Ran my leg into an ammo box, limp has returned. I could use some sleep. Your return would guarantee that._  
_____

Nicole was in a mood the week following her hearing Waverly. Her leg throbbed, and a bruise covered half her leg. She was mad to be limping again.

The redhead hated to, but she took some pain relievers. She iced every night which unfortunately gave her time to think. While she lay there under an ice pack, she questioned her mind, thinking it would be crazy to have made something up like what she heard. Was Waverly ok? Why was she listing off her attributes? It was like Waverly was forgetting? Or calling for her? Not having answers sucked balls. 

On top of that, she found herself jumping at every little noise in the house. The boiler cycled and she would reach for her gun. Rachel would clear her throat and Nicole would jump to her feet. The stove almost got a bat to the side when Nicole was walking through the kitchen and the pilot lit. 

So when Rachel called to her from out back, of course Nicole went all Momma Bear to protect her.

“Nicole!” Rachel yelled from beside their new storage container.  
Nicole grabbed her gun and ran as fast as she could. The limp slowed her slightly, but she found herself, gun shouldered, surveying the land for Rachel and whatever was attacking her.

“Rachel?” Nicole called out.

“Over here,” Rachel replied sheepishly.

“Rachel, what the hell are you doing on the ground?” Nicole looked down at Rachel, who was prone on the ground, her hand inside one of their skunk traps.

“Yeah… I’m stuck. A little help?” Rachel attempted to pull her arm out of the trap, but her jacket had slipped between the door and the side of the cage, effectively making her arm immobile.

“And why is your arm in there?” Nicole inquired, her eyes relaxing from their previous panic state, but still irritated at the antics of a teen, no matter how innocent.

“Well, I was setting the food on the other side of the trigger plate, and lost my balance and tripped the trigger. I tried to pull my arm out but the sleeve got stuck.” Rachel explained.

Nicole set her gun down on the ground, relieved there wasn’t an immediate danger. With a little more force than necessary, she said, “You scared the crap out of me.”

“Sorry. I didn’t exactly plan on getting stuck.” Rachel snipped back.

Nicole realized what she had just said. It wasn’t Rachel’s fault. She took a deep breath to calm her irritation. “Here. Let me help you,” and she began to work the fabric out of the wiring. “You know, this isn’t my first time getting a girl unstuck from clothing?”

“How long have you been catching skunks?” Rachel asked.

Nicole smiled. “No, It’s actually how I met Waverly.”

“Do tell how you met Waverly and immediately took her clothes off. Is everything with the Earps sexual?” Rachel said sarcastically.

“Of course not!” Nicole thought for a second, “Well, not everything.” she admitted.

Rachel was freed from the trap, and Nicole sat back on the ground. Rachel sat across from her. “She worked at Shorty’s. I went in to introduce myself. A tap broke and sprayed everywhere. She was soaked.” Nicole smiled softly at the memory.

“She asked me to turn around while she changed her shirt. But an earring got stuck so she asked for help. And the rest is,” Nicole paused, remembering that Waverly wasn’t around, and every day was one more without her in Nicole’s life. The smile fell from her face. “Was history.”

Rachel let her sit in silence for a moment, then decided they needed a distraction. “Thanks for setting me free. Want to help me bait this trap safely?”“Sure. Only because I don’t feel like using you as bait.”  
_____

Just about the time Nicole’s bruise had faded to an ugly yellow-green, Rachel came home from town looking petrified. That was saying something. She lived with zombies, after all.

“What’s up, Rachel?” Nicole asked, concerned.

“I… um… I saw…” Rachel started to tremor. 

Nicole led her to the couch and softly spoke to her, “Sit down. What happened?” she asked as they sat next to each other.  
Rachel said nothing. Nicole prompted her, “You’re safe here. What did you see?” Nicole pushed Rachel’s hair away from her face to comfort her. 

“Well, I was in town, and there was a group of people across from Shorty’s, all gathered around Holt. They were standing next to a backhoe, and they were all yelling. And then… and then.” Rachel’s eyes became unfocused.

“Rachel,” Nicole said softly.

“A couple of guys grabbed a rope and threw it over the bucket, then around some guys neck. They… they hung him.” Rachel’s voice shook with the memory. She began to cry.

Nicole’s eyes went wide, and it was hard to breathe. She looked at Rachel and saw her visibly shaken. Nicole took her in her arms and held her while she cried. She whispered calming words until Rachel recovered.

“Nicole, the guy got caught trying to steal a supply truck and they hung him for it. Why would they do that?” Rachel’s voice rose in fear.

“I don’t know. Sheriff Claiborne and Cleo run the town now, and with the state ignoring us and the border around the Ghost River Triangle I’m not sure what can be done.” Nicole’s brow furrowed in thought, unsure what could be of comfort to Rachel.

They sat like this together for a while. Both were contemplating the new development in town. Neither had anything more to explain the lynching.

“Until we figure something out, maybe we should avoid town.” Nicole told Rachel. Rachel simply nodded in agreement.  
_____

_17 months, 3 weeks, 2 days_

_It’s your birthday again._

Nicole was reflecting on the past. It had been nearly 18 months since she last saw Waverly. Oh, how she missed her embraces, her caresses. Were her lips really as soft as she remembered? 

Nicole wished she had a do-over. She wanted the moment on the porch back. She wanted to lean her head against Waverly’s. She wanted that intimacy. Screw Wynonna and her call for a meeting. She wished she told Wynonna to wait so she could have at least answered Waverly. “Yes, I’ll marry you!” She’d shout it from the rooftops if it kept her from going into the garden.

Nicole remembered Waverly’s birthday two years ago. For their date they both dressed up and had a quiet candlelit dinner at the homestead. Nicole had on a black dress that she knew Waverly enjoyed. Waverly’s neckline plunged low on her gold figure-hugging dress. It was intimate and romantic and a much-needed escape from their reality of revenants and demons.

That is, until Wynonna came, whiskey soaked and reckless, and interrupted them. She made her presence known by grabbing a couple breadsticks from the table, and then starting a huge bonfire. It ended up being a fun and memorable evening anyway, sharing bourbon and wacky stories while sitting around the fire.

Tonight for Waverly’s birthday, Nicole had started a bonfire. She hoped that remembering the happy memory would flood her senses and rid the crushing gloom. Instead she found only painful memories. 

Nicole remembered not returning from Monument with Waverly, Wynonna and Doc. Rather, she spent a few days in the hospital and months recovering from a broken leg. 

Instead of celebrating with her found family a return from the garden, she spent months protecting the homestead from all kinds of evil.

Nicole didn’t even have the joy of her job as sheriff. She was the laughingstock of Purgatory. All because a witch tricked her into thinking Waverly was home. 

Happy birthday, indeed. Nicole didn’t even get a gift for Waverly this year. She wanted to rid some of the demons haunting her mind. She went inside to retrieve the cast. She had stored it in Waverly’s closet. As she passed the bed, a photo of the two of them caught her eye. She picked up the photo and studied it sadly. Waverly’s smile. Was it really that bright? She was forgetting. She set the photo down and continued on her search for the cast. 

Nicole found the cast where she left it, on the closet shelf. She looked at the beautiful snake Rachel had drawn and traced it with her fingers admiringly. She looked at the multiple dicks you could see from every angle. One afternoon when Nicole was napping on the couch Rachel adorned it with phallic symbols because she had been bored. She looked at the butterfly she had drawn while thinking of Waverly and caressed it with her thumb. She took the cast with her back downstairs to the fire.

Once she was standing in front of the fire, the redhead swung her arm backward, then accelerated it forward. She released the cast on the upswing into the fire. The batting caught fire immediately, becoming a wisp of smoke. The hard fiberglass cast, however, began to bubble and melt from the heat. The snake’s tongue appeared to flick in the air, coming alive through the flame. She was taken by the beauty of destroying the cast. Then it turned into a mass of ugly melted black goo. She huffed once, thinking that goo was exactly how she felt.  
_____ 

_17 months, 3 weeks, 3 days_

_I don’t think you’re ever coming back. I’m so sorry, I tried. I tried so hard._

Nicole made the entry into her journal, and sadly acknowledged the truth she had written down. She wasn’t sure Waverly would ever be coming back. She felt so heavy, so tired that she lay back down and stayed in bed the rest of the day. 

Rachel peeked in on her when she got back from her scavenging trip. She saw that Nicole was asleep, so she quietly shut the door.

Nicole didn’t join her for dinner that night, so Rachel made a plate of pasta and placed it on the nightstand. She sat down on the edge of the bed and whispered, “Nicole, I made some pasta for you. It’s right here. Try to eat, ok?”

Nicole didn’t answer, but sighed and sunk into her bed more. Rachel left the room quietly, hoping her friend would eat.

The next few days were similar. Nicole barely got out of bed. Rachel would bring some food and drink in and set it next to her on the nightstand. She was happy to see she was at least eating some of the crackers, and most of the tea or water.

During that time Nicole hadn’t spoken. Rachel had forgone scavenging to stay with her in the house. She passed her time with trap checks every few hours, ridding any creatures she found to behind the woodpile.

On the third day of Nicole staying in bed, Rachel was doing a trap check and the troll approached the homestead. She fired at it with a shotgun. The shot made contact with its thigh, scaring it away.

Rachel’s adrenaline was flowing when she strode into Nicole’s room. Whereas before she was gentle and understanding, this time she was not. “Ok, Nicole. I get that you’re sad. But we have a monster problem, and I need your help.” 

Nicole rolled over in bed slowly to face the rampaging teen.

Rachel paced the length of the room, and continued her rant. “I can’t fend them off by myself. And that troll was just here.”

Mention of the troll got Nicole’s attention. She blinked and slowly sat up in bed.

“So we need to reach some common ground. Do you understand?” Rachel waited for a reply. Nicole nodded her head. 

Rachel stopped pacing. “Ok, good.” Now that she had Nicole’s attention, she wasn’t really sure on the next step. “So, you and I are going to come up with a plan to get that troll. I am going to make a meal so we can eat. And there is all kinds of stank in here. You need a shower, girl.”

Nicole sighed. “Yeah, I guess I do. Maybe I should start there?” 

Rachel relaxed. “Yes. Start there. I’ll meet you downstairs after you shower.” She walked over and laid a hand on the redhead’s shoulder. “You’re not alone, ok?” then retreated from the room.

Nicole looked down at the floor and nodded. Then she rose to her feet and headed for the shower. She regretted looking into the mirror. It was almost as if another person stared back. The hollowed eyes, greasy red hair falling well past her shoulders, that wasn’t her.  
_____

_18 months_

_I’m never going to get you back._

Nicole had given up all hope. Her life was nothing without Waverly in it. She had Rachel. She would be there for Rachel. But without Waverly…

Nicole recalled a conversation she had with the witch several months ago. “I’m someone with a particular skill set that you might benefit from,” she had said.

 _Well, I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything,_ Nicole thought.

She headed to Magpie Ranch, the local junkyard that popped up around the time Bulshar arrived and opened the door to the garden. She went seeking Margo, who Nicole had learned was the Swamp Witch.

Nicole found her in one of the outbuildings. She was surrounded by various mason jars.

Margo didn’t even turn around, but addressed Nicole. “I was wondering when you’d come around.”

“Were you serious? That you know how to seek people out and bring them home?” Nicole asked, her voice weak and trembling.

Margo stood up and walked over to Nicole. She crossed her arms in front of her and studied the redhead. Looking down her nose at Nicole, she stated, “Name your request.”

“Can you… can you help me get Waverly back? Wynonna? Doc?” Nicole managed to say.

“Why?” Margo asked.

Nicole started shifting her weight from foot to foot, rocking left to right. “I can’t wait anymore.”

Margo stood stock still, her arms still crossed in front of her.

Nicole continued, “It’s been over a year,” a sob escaped her lips. “Can you help?”

“I would very much like to, but the price is steep.” Margo remained still.

Nicole considered for a moment. “I’ll do… I will do…” Nicole grabbed Margo’s arms with her hands and slowly fell to her knees as if her legs couldn’t hold her any longer. “I will do anything to get her back.”

Margo didn’t say anything. She just peered into Nicole’s eyes, disgusted with the pathetic display of emotion.

“Please.” Nicole implored.

“Even this?” Margo leaned in to whisper into Nicole’s ear. “I bring them home, you deliver Doc Holliday to me.”

Nicole slowly raised back onto her feet. Her hands dropped from Margo’s arms. She couldn’t do that. Doc was part of the team. A valuable member of the team. The Earps loved him. He followed Waverly into the garden to protect her. 

On the other hand…

Doc allowed himself to be turned into a vampire after he lost his immortality. By his vampire wife that he conveniently never told anyone about. He was a selfish man who always put himself first with the choices he made. He shot his wife Kate. He killed Waverly’s dad Julian…

What would Wynonna do? Would she forgive Nicole if she found out? 

What about Waverly? Would she understand the desperation Nicole was exhibiting? Would she still want to marry her if she made this deal?

Nicole weighed the options. Perhaps Doc’s life was meant to be given in exchange for the safe return of the Earps.

Nicole made the decision. “If you’ll save them from the garden.” 

Margo began laughing evilly in victory at the gift she had just been given.

Margo walked over to the shelving, grabbed a glass jar and handed it to Nicole. “Simply open this jar in Doc’s presence. That will deliver Doc to me. Once it is done, your debt is forgiven.”

Nicole eyed the jar. It contained a variety of plants and home-grown crystals. There was still time to renege and walk away. Maybe she could find another way. But it had been 18 months. There were no other options. Her hands were trembling, but she took the jar from the witch. Without another word, she left the building. She couldn’t drive away faster if she tried. 

Knowing the witch was going to bring Waverly back, despite the cost, gave Nicole respite. She lay down in Waverly’s bed and grabbed the framed photo of the two of them. “I made a deal with a witch, but I will get to see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. I can make it until tomorrow.” She smiled, then slept peacefully for the first time in months. More importantly, she woke with something she hadn’t felt in months - hope.  
_____

_18 months, 1 day_

_The witch said she could bring you back. It didn’t work._

Nicole thought the bargain would work like immediately. She woke expecting Waverly’s return. She actually had a feeling in her stomach that wasn’t despair. Then as the morning came and went but Waverly didn’t return, Nicole’s anxiety increased. By midday, she was pacing inside and outside the homestead. Evening arrived, and she was crushed with the reality that she would never see Wynonna and Doc again. She would never see Waverly again.

 _Well, I won’t have to give Doc in payment._ Nicole felt her chest tighten into a vice-like grip. Nothing worked. _Wynonna’s never coming back. My best friend…_

_I’ve lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve lost Waverly forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depression is a complex state and would never be as easy as I wrote it here. Those suffering from depression, please seek help.


	7. Oh, nothing else compares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful and thankful for the kudos and comments. I tried to stay true to canon, so I hope I entertained you with my rendition of Nicole's 18 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days. 
> 
> I highly recommend everyone find yourself a Soffi and Angie to have in your life. I am sure I drove them crazy with my questions and insecurities. Their feedback was indispensable. Their friendship even more so. Thank you.

_18 months, 4 days_

Nicole’s days became habitual. She would wake up. She’d check the traps every two hours. When monsters were present, shoot them dead, throw them behind the wood pile or in the canyon down the road. Force food into her system. Perform repairs on what was needed around the homestead. If nothing needed repair, clean weapons. Dinner with Rachel. Go to bed.

Nicole didn’t know why she kept counting. There was no need to do so. Waverly, Wynonna and Doc were never coming back. She guessed after doing it for 18 months, counting had become part of her DNA. Deep down, she feared if she forgot how long Waverly’d been gone, she would forget things she loved about her.   
_____

_18 months, 1 week_

Nicole woke up and counted a new day. She had stopped journaling. No need to keep a physical record of her failure any longer. She got up, slipped her feet into the ready-to-go shoes and headed downstairs.

Nicole didn’t understand. She thought deals with witches produced results. Instead, she was still alone. Even the witch couldn’t bring them back. Swamp witch. More like swamp bitch. She pushed down the despair and anger she felt so she could start her day.

It was a fine line, wanting to remember Waverly, and not a memory with Waverly. She wanted to remember her smile, her laugh. She wanted to remember all her little quips and things that made her Waverly. 

But Nicole didn’t want to relive the memories. The memories were usually of times she shared with Waverly. These recollections hurt. Sure, remembering a physical trait was sad. But remembering moments together was too much. The look on Waverly’s face as she walked in on her picking up Bulshar’s ring from the floor and misinterpreting it as a proposal. Remembering how Waverly had betrayed Wynonna to save her because she loved her. Knowing she would never experience these feelings again…

Nicole tried to avoid activities or triggers that could evoke a memory of Waverly, or Wynonna, or even Doc. But she lived on the homestead. The Earp sisters were everywhere. So, accepting the inevitable, she expected the memories. However, she did not look forward to them.

As Nicole was checking the traps by the front arch, she looked up at the homestead. An action she had done hundreds of times over the past year, but this morning something about the light and the time of day made her recall one of her first trips there. 

_Nicole was called out to the homestead after a bachelorette party had gone severely wrong. Her and Wynonna had just had an unusual work night. They spent time bonding over stories of Waverly and trying to figure out the newest case of a probable serial killer, only ending with accusations of suspect activites. Nicole wanted to know why this particular case seemed to be personal to Wynonna. Wynonna insulted her, saying it was “too complex for rookie flatfoots.” The night left them on fragile ground._

_Wynonna was already at the homestead both as a BBD employee and as homeowner. Nicole was taking statements about how a stripper and the bride-to-be had met untimely deaths. One of the guests, Randy Nedley’s daughter, reported Waverly had ‘scissored a stripper.’ Nicole saw the dead bodies. It didn’t look like your typical murder scene. And she was annoyed by the obvious BS she was being fed. “Over your pay grade.” “Too complex.” “Coyotes are very active in these parts.” She just wanted the truth._

_But then Wynonna walked up to her, invited her to breakfast so they could talk. Really talk. Nicole was going to get the truth. As she turned to get into her patrol car, she looked back to the house. There, standing on her front porch was Waverly Earp, smiling at her._

Every memory was a stab of pain to her heart. But this memory, this was one she had more details than the rest. The deputy was smitten with the youngest Earp, and though Waverly didn’t return the sentiment, Nicole believed it was a possibility she might return the feeling. Because of that possibility, she recalled this image, Waverly Earp, standing on her front porch smiling at her, more than any other. She had recalled it daily for weeks before Waverly kissed her. Nicole could almost feel her heart turning to stone trying to stop those memories.  
_____

_18 months, 1 week, 3 days_

Nicole looked at the jar with leaves the swamp witch had given her. She could tell the crystal had grown. As if it was mocking her. Like it said, “I can live and grow without them. You can’t.” She grabbed the jar and placed it inside one of the cabinets downstairs.

Nicole needed a purpose. Waking up and getting out of bed every day would take effort, but she would do it. And Rachel became her purpose. She decided she would work to keep the homestead safe. For Rachel. For… for something to do.

Meanwhile, Rachel continued to look after Nicole. For the past month, she hung around the homestead more than she was gone. She also made time to do some scavenging on the outskirts of town. She had convinced herself it definitely was NOT because of Billy. If he showed up, cool. If he didn’t, well… that was none of her concern. Sure, she’d worry, but you worry for your friends. Nicole had taught her that. Yeah, he was just a friend. If she told herself that enough, maybe she would believe it.

Rachel didn’t have to worry today, because Billy showed up. She was showing him her finds at their new meetup spot. They found the back door of the diner was unlocked, and inside was private and felt safe. 

“An old cattle brand! That is lit!” Billy was excited. “You know, if you want, I know someone who would pay good coin for this.”

“For that? Really? I just thought the pattern was cool.” Rachel liked the simple yet symmetrical design. Two lines ran next to each other, then they diverged in a semi circle, finally coming back together in parallel lines. 

“There’s tons of old stuff to sell around here,” Billy informed. “People from the big city are always wanting authentic rustic junk. One guy bought some old ice tongs from me for $75. Then later he bragged to me that he made it into a chandelier and sold it for $350.”

“You got rooked,” Rachel teased. 

“Yeah. I try to look stuff up now before I sell it.” Billy quickly googled antique cattle brands. He leaned towards Rachel to show her the screen of his phone. “See? Minimum $50.”

“Wow. And you’ve got a buyer?” Rachel inquired.

“I know people. Yeah. Want me to see how much I can sell it for?” Billy asked sincerely. He made eye contact with Rachel.

Rachel’s stomach was suddenly full of butterflies. The depth of his brown eyes was intense. She looked away from his gaze. “Uh, yeah, that would be cool,” she stammered.

Thankfully, they wrapped their up conversation. Rachel needed a break from her newly developing feelings. They headed their separate ways, agreeing to meet up later that week. 

As Rachel watched Billy retreat to his home, she thought, _Great. I am crushing on Billy the Kid._  
_____

_18 months, 1 week, 5 days_

Nicole had been doing some work out in the barn. The guns needed cleaning, and the workbench was the best place to spread out. After she was finished, she headed back to the house.

On her way across the yard, Nicole thought she heard Waverly’s voice. It was brief, pleading in nature. “Take me home,” she heard. Or thought she heard. She quickly stopped any feeling of hope from coming to the surface, and attributed it to the wind.

Nicole became irritated that she could still hear Waverly’s voice but not have her and began an internal dialogue with herself. _Why can’t I silence her voice? I want HER here, not her voice. I begged Margo to bring them back. I promised to give... to give... what did I promise in return? I wouldn’t have promised something I couldn’t deliver on. No matter, they’re never coming back._

Nicole walked into the house through the front door. She looked up as a flash of sparkly blue and white caught her eye. It was hanging by a string in front of a window where the sun was shining in. A memory flooded her senses. It was vivid to the point she could even hear the music playing.

_Nicole was preparing to head to work for the day, but Waverly had stopped her with ‘something important’ to show her. She was in her cheerleading outfit, complete with pom poms. Nicole couldn’t move if she tried._

_Waverly turned around and hit play on her Spotify app, then began performing a cheer ‘just for her.’ Nicole’s eyes roamed over her legs and arms as Waverly high-stepped across the room, stopped, bent over then flipped her hair back. A hip pop here, a wicked grin there. Hands thrown to the sides and pumped into the air to the rhythm of the music. It was sexy and hot as hell._

The more Nicole remembered, the angrier she got. She remembered how much it turned her on. She did not want to be turned on right now. She changed the focus of her anger back to Margo. She thought Margo wanted their return, too. Why didn’t she deliver? She walked over and pulled the light catcher down forcefully.

Rachel walked into the room and saw Nicole holding her newest find. “Hey, Nicole. What do you think?” 

Nicole jumped at the arrival of the teen, eyes wide in surprise. Rachel saw she had startled the still-jumpy red-head, and rushed her next sentence out in hopes to calm her back down. “I found it scavenging by the high school. I think it’s an old pom-pom.”

”This can’t be in here.” Nicole stated firmly. She handed it to Rachel sharply. 

“Okayyy... I just thought, you know, it could be a good deterrent. Farmers hang shiny stuff to scare the birds away.” Rachel slowly reached for the object. 

“No. It can’t be in here.” Nicole pushed it away as if it were burning her, into Rachel’s hands.

“Ok, Boomer. I thought it could be useful. Sorry for thinking,” Rachel snapped back.

Seeing she had hurt the teen’s feelings, Nicole felt bad. She managed to reel it in and calm down by at least half. She removed most of the emotion out of her voice as she told the younger woman, “Rachel, it’s a good idea. Maybe we can hang it by the poplars, or behind the silo. It just can’t be in here.”

“Why not?” Rachel asked. Her friend was sounding irrational over a Pom Pom. 

“I can’t... it just can’t be here.” Nicole looked at the offending ball one more time and went upstairs. 

“Ok, not a fan of cheerleaders, I guess.” Rachel tossed it on the table, deflated. 

_No, Rachel,_ Nicole thought. _Too much of a fan of cheerleader Waverly._  
_____

_18 months, 2 weeks, 1 day_

Rachel was indispensable around the homestead. She was fearless against the monster population. She could fix and rebait the traps in record time. She helped keep the homestead clean. 

The one thing she couldn’t master was milking a skunk. She had watched Nicole numerous times. She knew the steps, but they were so wily! She almost got it a time or two but would get overexcited, letting the skunk go too early or missing the container she was aiming for.

Rachel was going to milk a skunk come hell or high water. The easy-set trap held their newest captive. She could do this. She could milk that skunk. She got the burlap bag and collection jar. Put some gloves and her skunk jacket on. Opening the trap the skunk made a run for it, causing Rachel to panic and jump at the skunk in an attempt to tackle it. There was no avoiding it - she got sprayed. She should’ve given up then, but she was too stubborn.

Rachel fought to set the burlap over the top half of the body, talking to the skunk to calm down. She tried to bargain with the animal, promising treats if he would just help her out. When that didn’t work, yelling out punishments she couldn’t deliver on. She begged the skunk to just calm down and give up the scent. She had it trapped between her legs, ass up but the skunk was not participating. 

Nicole walked up, shaking her head at the teen. “That is not how you milk a skunk. Need some help?”  
“Ya think?” Rachel said, exasperated.

“Here, let me hold the skunk so you can milk it. If there’s anything left.” Nicole teased.

Rachel let the redhead take hold of the burlap bag, then the striped animal. “Thank you.”

“You are one of the most competent, smartest teens I have ever met, but you have the worst luck with skunks.” Nicole said to Rachel. “They’re smart critters! You know why they’re so smart?

“No, why?” Rachel inquired.

“Because they have a lot of scents.” A slight smile crossed Nicole’s lips.

“Was that a joke? That was somewhat funny?” Rachel laughed.

“It was a fairly black and white issue.” Nicole couldn’t resist. “You good now? There wasn’t much left after he sprayed you.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll try again later, when we catch another one.”

“Ok, then. Smell ya later, Rachel!” Nicole retreated to the house.

The look on Nicole’s face warmed Rachel’s heart. She knew Nicole was grieving the lack of return of the Earp sisters and Doc. If she were honest, she was grieving their loss. To see her try to live was encouraging. Rachel saw these moments as respite from the depression Nicole was experiencing. If it took being sprayed by a skunk to make it happen, well, it was worth it.  
_____

_18 months, 2 weeks, 3 days_

Today was the same as yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. Nicole’s insistence on trap checks every two hours bordered on becoming an obsession. But it was the last thing she could do and feel like she was doing something. She didn’t have to remember her failures, and how the Swamp Witch had failed her. She could protect the homestead. And no one could take that away from her. So she held on tightly to that.

The homestead was having daily sightings of monsters, and several times a week there would be something in the traps. Werewolf, Hala, gremlins. Often the bigger monsters could escape. The girls didn’t care if they escaped, as long as they didn’t return. 

The route to check the traps took Nicole along the border of the forest. It was the spot both Nicole and Rachel were always on high alert, as both had seen movement between the trees. But as long as the monsters stayed there and didn’t come to the homestead, it was fine by them.

If something did come out, it got shot. Most of the monsters, you shoot at it and get any kind of hit, they go away, and go for good. Not the troll. It kept coming back. Both girls had multiple run-ins with it on trap checks, and they had direct hits on it over the past few months, none apparently life-threatening. 

The damn old crusty one was persistent. If it didn’t come out, Nicole could feel it watching her. On several occasions, the troll would boldly walk towards Nicole as she walked along the forest line. Her shotgun was always shouldered, ready for action, so it never got closer than 100 yards. 

Nicole was right. The troll did watch from the woods. _Today she will talk to me. She will see I am no threat._ It stood and exited the trees.

It was no surprise to Nicole that today the troll came out of the woods towards her and growled. Shotgun at the ready, she fired once and missed. She rarely missed. The troll stopped, then continued toward her. She fired a second time, hitting its shoulder. The troll screamed in pain, and retreated to the woods. Just before entering, it turned back to look at Nicole for a few seconds, then continued into the woods.

Every time Nicole would see the troll, she would be struck by the fact that Waverly would never return, something she wanted more than oxygen. Yet this stupid troll returned, forever in her face as something she couldn’t rid herself of.   
_____

_18 months, 2 weeks, 6 days_

Despite Waverly and Wynonna being gone, life continued. Today Nicole was cleaning the homestead. It kept her hands and mind busy, which took the focus off her failures if only for a moment. Anything to not think of the Earp sisters. 

She was cleaning the kitchen and living room. There were so many jars of kombucha laying around Nicole turned them into decorations. She lined them up neatly on the shelves instead of haphazardly stored on the floor or counters of the homestead. Inside one of the cabinets was the jar with leaves that would not die, and crystals that kept growing. The one given to her by the witch. A reminder even supernatural forces could not return Waverly to her. She intentionally did not open that cabinet.

Once finished downstairs, Nicole headed upstairs and cleaned the bathroom. It was satisfying to clean every surface, trying to clean Waverly out of the space. She had already moved Waverly’s soaps, shampoos and makeup to under the sink. Out of sight, out of mind. Next, she headed to Waverly’s, well, she guessed it was her room now. 

She was dusting off the dresser, and had just picked up a stuffed pink teddy bear. A sad smile crossed her face. The sorry party. 

_It was a painful yet healing day, to confess all the things they were sorry about. Learning to communicate with each other and not hide things, even if to try to protect the others’ feelings, was a big step in their relationship._

_They started by sitting criss cross on the floor facing each other. Waverly had decorated the room with balloons and flowers. Nicole found a pink teddy bear holding a sign saying “I love you.” They exchanged cards. Waverly had drawn 50 hearts inside her card to Nicole that was simply inscribed with Sorry. Slowly with each confession they gravitated towards each other. They helped each other continue their apologies first with eye contact saying everything was ok, then a hand on the other’s knee. Chaste kisses were exchanged. One to the hand, another to the cheek. Eventually the smaller brunette ended up on Nicole’s lap, cradled safely in her arms._

_Nicole was sorry for hiding the results of the DNA test from her. Sorry for not sharing she had a wife. Sorry for not trusting Waverly._

_Waverly was sorry for kissing Rosita. Sorry for the double-standard she employed just because she was mad. Sorry for not including Nicole in every crazy event encountered._

_They rocked back and forth, happy to be together again. She could still feel Waverly’s temple against her lips._

Before Nicole started recalling what happened next, how they fell into bed together, she shook her head and put the bear back in its place. She moved on, vigorously cleaning the mirror, in hopes the rush of feelings would abate. Eventually they did, But the memory lingered. She didn’t know how to stop them, so she just accepted them as what they were - memories.  
_____

_18 months, 3 weeks, 2 days_

Nicole was very disciplined. Even if the Earp sisters weren’t coming back. She’d still get up every day, she still put one foot in front of the other. At this point it was rote, but it was happening. But some days she just couldn’t. 

Right now Nicole just couldn’t. The weight of her body was too much. Her mind was even heavier with too many emotions circling at the same time. If she were in a better place, she might wonder at the fact that she could be so angry, yet so sad at the same time. 

Rachel came into the living room and saw Nicole curled up underneath a blanket on the couch. She saw the rims of Nicole‘s eyes were red. Rachel sat next to her on the couch. “Want to talk?” She asked. 

Nicole took several breaths, but then began talking. “Waverly loved summer because of the warmth and the fields of wildflowers in bloom, but she secretly loved fall, with the leaves falling off the trees. She loved wrapping warm scarves around her neck. We would go for walks around the homestead, her pointing out her happy memories from her youth.” 

Rachel said, “I still hope to meet Waverly.”

“She was extraordinary,” Nicole whispered. 

Hope. Nicole had been living off of hope for 18 months, but then it just felt like it ran out. She asked, “Is it wrong of me to give up hope?” 

Rachel responded, “I can’t answer that. But I can share with you when I was looking for my mom, even though it was hopeless I still hoped. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to hope. There’s nothing wrong with giving up hope. You do what it takes to survive.”

They sat there in silence. Nicole pondered what the youth said. 18 months of surviving in hopes of seeing Waverly. She hated that she gave up hope. But she needed to survive for another day of life, and the expectation of their return was too much to bear so she let it go. Nicole so looked forward to Waverly meeting Rachel. But then Waverly never returned.

Then she considered the past 18 months with Rachel. She was smart, resourceful, and a hard worker. She was funny. Even when Nicole didn’t feel like smiling Rachel would find a way to warm her heart, even a little bit.

Rachel never left. Through Nicole’s injury, she stayed. When the redhead was angry and difficult to be around, she stayed. And now, as she lay on the couch, saddened to the core, she stayed. 

Rachel had found a way into her heart and became her family. “Hey, Rachel.” Nicole called, voice thick with a mix of emotional turmoil and gratefulness. 

“Hmm?” Rachel turned to look at Nicole.

“Thank you. For everything. For staying, for understanding, for...” Nicole found she didn’t have words for how much Rachel had grown to mean to her. 

“Well, when you bond over busting Zombie heads that is a bond you can never break.” Rachel quipped.

Nicole laughed over the sob that wanted to burst out of her chest. 

“It’s cool. Remember, been there, done that?” 

Tears began falling from Nicole’s eyes again, more from an immense gratitude for Rachel than sadness over Waverly. Perhaps not all the pressure that Nicole felt weighing on her chest had lifted, but the little that was taken off gave her a chance to breathe, and it felt good.

Nicole needed to get out of her head. She could feel herself spiraling downward and she needed a distraction. Anything to stop thinking of Waverly. “Been there, done that. That’s one of my favorite Xena episodes.” 

“I don’t know that I’ve seen it.” Rachel replied. 

“Wanna watch it with me?”

“Sure.”

“You’re in for a treat. Grab the laptop?” Nicole shifted into sitting so they could watch together.

Rachel complied. While she was cuing the episode up, Nicole said, “I mean it, thanks for staying. And stay as long as you want to. It is Chez Valdez, after all.”

Rachel smiled. She elbowed Nicole as she leaned back to watch the show. Soon both girls were chuckling at the antics of Xena and Gabrielle.   
_____

_18 months, 3 weeks, 4 days_

Nicole woke before the sun came up. She felt like she had gotten a few hours of sleep last night. She mentally logged a small victory. She had to take a win where she could. Knowing the traps wouldn’t check themselves, she rolled out of bed, slipped into her shoes by the bedside, and headed downstairs. 

No monsters this morning, another small victory. Nicole had just returned to the homestead after finishing her circuit. She closed the back door and set her shotgun down to the side of it. One trap needed some minor repairs done to it, but she would get to that later. Right now, she wanted something warm to drink. She was about to take her jacket off when an alarm went off - intruder behind the silo.  
Quickly Nicole took the shotgun to the back window, opened it a crack, and fired warning shots at the figure running towards the house. They let out a couple startled screams and stopped in their tracks. Seeing it was human made Nicole indignant. “For christsakes, can’t I have one friggin morning where I can have a cup of coffee before I have to kill something?” She ran to the back porch.

Nicole shouldered her gun as she exited the back door. She had on her ‘don’t mess with me’ face. As she squared up to where the intruder was, Nicole yelled “Eat shit, shiteater! I’m warning you, no trespassing!”

The rising sun made it difficult to see who the person was. Their hands remained by their side. They appeared to be female. She had long brown hair lit on fire by the sunrise that flowed past her shoulders. It took a moment for Nicole to see the face. It… can’t be. Nicole’s heart began to race.

Was it? Was it really her? It was. 

“Waverly.”

Nicole quickly set her gun down against the house, and ran out to meet Waverly. Stooping slightly, she pulled the smaller woman to her and gave her a fierce embrace.

“It’s me.” Waverly said quietly. She shifted from the embrace to hold Nicole’s face between her hands and look into her eyes. “It’s me. Oh, god, it’s you!” 

They hugged again, and Waverly whispered, “I’m home.”

Nicole pulled back to look at Waverly. She WANTS to believe it was her Waverly. It felt like her Waverly. How she had missed holding her in her arms. “Are you real?” she asked, holding back a sob, tears filling her eyes.

Waverly moved her hands up to Nicole’s neck, looked her in the eyes and questioned back, “are you?”

“Get in here and check!” Nicole sighed. She quickly closed the space between them to kiss Waverly.

Nicole could not believe she was kissing Waverly. But it was her taste, her lips. It was better than she remembered. At the same time, it was exactly how she remembered kissing her love.

Nicole leaned back to look into Waverly’s eyes. Her beautiful, hazel eyes, with gold flecks mirroring the rising sun. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. All the brokenness that had built up over the past 18 months paused in a moment. Her heart which had slowly turned to stone shattered with a single heartbeat, pulsing warmth throughout her body for the first time in a long time. Waverly was there, in the flesh. Nicole was overwhelmed.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Waverly smiled at her. With her gloved hand, she gently stroked the tears off Nicole’s face with her thumbs.

Nicole kissed her again. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I missed you so much.” Her kisses became more fervent, desire building quickly in her bloodstream.

Waverly noticed the change and returned the passion.

Nicole’s skin was buzzing. Even through the layers of clothing separating the two, she could feel the heat from Waverly’s body. She wanted to feel Waverly’s skin next to hers more than anything in the world.

“I never stopped trying to get home,” Waverly said as Nicole kissed down her neck. 

Nicole briefly stopped kissing Waverly. A flash of guilt crossed Nicole’s face, then she kissed an apology to Waverly for giving up hope.

Waverly could feel something off in Nicole and wanted to make sure that she was ok. “Want to talk about it?”

Nicole replied with a barely whispered “no” and continued kissing Waverly’s lips, her jaw, below her ear. Her forehead. Anywhere she could. 

Waverly gave a small shiver, which forced Nicole to focus on what was happening and where they were. 

“You’re cold. Let's go inside,” Nicole suggested. They broke apart, giving only enough space to prepare to move towards the house. “I’ve been staying here waiting for you. I hope that’s okay.”

Waverly smiled and reached for Nicole’s arm. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Nicole said nothing, and looked at Waverly’s hand resting on her arm. She had missed these simple touches as much as the intimate ones. She looked into Waverly’s eyes, and couldn’t stop herself from kissing her. Her heart rate picked up again. “Come on.” 

Nicole took hold of Waverly’s hands, not wanting to be too far away. In fact, she never wanted to let her go ever again. Both turned and began walking towards the porch.

“Home. I’ve missed home. I’ve missed you.” Waverly said reverently.

Nicole never took her eyes off Waverly, needing visual proof she was here. She squeezed the brunette’s hand to ground herself. “I’ve missed you, too. So much.” When they reached the door Nicole opened it. As she ushered her girlfriend inside, she said lovingly, “Welcome home, baby.”


End file.
